Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Why Move to Frankfurt?

Quietly in some British boardroom in London, there are probably eight British businessmen and businesswomen who are discussing this radical idea of packing up their 650 people and moving the whole operation to Frankfurt....because of the BREXIT vote.

Naturally, there has to be analysis performed....cost review....rational logic exchanged....and personal (humble) opinions shared.

Knowing some Brits.....I will offer ten of the reasons why moving to Frankfurt makes perfect sense:

1.  Half of all German autobahns have no speed limit.  That means you can take your Porsche and actually drive 240 kph and feel empowered.  The fact that two of your employees will die from excessive speeds each year because of their limited British ability to handle high-speeds.....doesn't matter.

2.  The beer.  Ale has a certain taste, but let's face facts.....German beer is the best beer on Earth.  If you could get off work, and consume two entire steins (not that half-stein crap) but full steins.....man, that would give you a tremendous buzz, and lift your spirits on a really bad day.

3.  Food choices.  Schnitzel on your plate.  Ordering XXL plates of pork products and chubbing out on 4,000 calories for lunch.

4.  Hot German women.  None of this London model stuff....but tough German women who bike 30 km per day.....jog five miles a day....chugging down two steins of beer.....etc.  These aren't the wussy-gals of London.....these are Amazon-like Wonder-Woman-built goddesses.

5.  The Frankfurt Tube.  From the center of town, you can be all the way into Wiesbaden in 25 minutes, or Hanau in 17 minutes.  You could live as far out in the country as you desired, with fresh air, a major airport in the vicinity, and a safe ride into the city each day.

6.  One of the major airports in the world within 12 minutes on the subway from the heart of Frankfurt.  Brilliantly designed for a guy to just walk out of the subway.....hand the bags over....and walk through security in a matter of minutes.  And they are adding another terminal within the next four years for more traffic.  You could fly up to London to visit the mistress every few weeks, or have her fly down to visit you.

7.  For all those stupid London parties that you attended and ten-percent of the guests dressed up in Nazi outfits.....you'd finally get away from that type of humor.

8.  From the dark and misty 180 days a year of miserable weather from London.....you'd go to just 40 dark and misty days a year in Frankfurt, with eight days of chaotic snow, and thirty days of absolutely miserable cold-cold-cold days.

9.  Having a chance to introduce British humor to a society who probably needs a pretty hefty dose.

10.  A chance to wear Birkenstocks on Friday easy-attire day.

I didn't mention anything about the land of EU regulations but if you wanted to maintain the normal daily dose of regulation.....well, it makes sense to re-locate in Frankfurt instead of staying in a hell-hole like London without EU regulations guiding your life day and night.

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