Germans and Snow

Over the last couple of days....snow has fallen across a significant portion of Germany.  It is a bit early for drastic snowfall, but then luckily, Germans have "global warming" to blame (otherwise, they'd just blame God).

Snow is like science to Germans.  If you sat down in a pub and asked a group of German men to comment on snow....they'd give you 300 pages of information and analysis over an entire evening....and almost forget that a soccer game was on TV.

First, they'd chat about the right tires.  For an American, we traditionally want to use all-weather tires and slip on chains when absolutely necessary (when forced actually by the cops).  For a German, it's winter-tires, period.  No discussion.  It's hard to find a German who might use all-weather tires except for their summer-tires.  Winter-tires discussion could go on for an hour as each guy will tell his life story over the winter-tires that he's owned.

Second, they'd talk over the right salt for using on the house-steps or the sidewalk by the house.  There are friendly environmental mixes, then the 1945-recipe which people still brag about, and then some cheapo mix that they got from the market and manufactured in Turkey.  There will be the various directions given over how to toss the snow off the sidewalk and the proper use of the shovel when finished (it ought to be washed & cleaned).

Third, they'd chat on the topic of blankets and gear to carry in the car.  Most Germans would refuse to carry anything extra in the car because they just refuse to stop or allow snow to hinder themselves.  Other Germans are prepared and carry an entire bag with candles, a blanket, a bottle of water, and a shovel.  Some German guys have a "snow-lite" bag and a "snow-heavy" bag....and keep it in the garage to toss in if they are driving a couple of hours in potential snow.

Fourth, they'd chat on snow statistics.  If in a open environment where booze is flowing....most guys will admit there's no such thing as global warming and they've seen bigger snowfalls in the 1960s than today.  People will carve out legends as they chat on the 1979 January snowfall across central Germany and all their woes.  Some guys will chat for an hour on the difference between wet snow and dry snow....giving you a vast amount of information that you'd normally only hear from a Professor.

Fifth, they'd chat on the effect of salt on cars.  Each guy has a story in his life about his 1976 Volkswagen that fell apart in six years because of rust.  There used to be a massive amount of salt used on roads and Germans got to a point where they actually owned two cars....one for winter which was the old disposable car, and a nice car for the other eight months of the year.  There are guys today that repeat this same practice although salt is used alot less and towns sometimes mix the salt with another solution to prevent rust episodes.

Sixth, they'd chat on roofs that have fallen in around their neighborhood from snow.  It's rare but about every ten years in some towns...you have a major snowfall and some guy had structural issues to start with....and the snow just collapsed the room.  Guys will remember this and bring up this neighbor's name a hundred times over the rest of their life as they turn this into a legendary piece of history.

Seventh, they'd chat on the right booze to drink after clearing a path on their sidewalk and returning to the house.  Some recommend mixing it with the coffee....so the wife doesn't comment on drinking so early.  Some will suggest just plain beer.  And some will suggest an Italian wine (cheap of course) to settle your nerves after such hard work.

Germans need snow in a way....it gives them a different prospective on life, and gives them a moment to ponder and think about things... intensely.  I suspect some of the greatest inventions in history....came from Germans who were cramped up in the house during a snowstorm and nothing to do but sit and think.  Maybe, that's a good thing.