The Good Immigrant

Immigration is one of those topics in Germany....that usually draws a blank stare and a desire to argue from your typical German.  Most Germans know there's this problem.  The German population is decreasing.  German companies need more employees.  It's a problem which never goes away.

So you reach a point where you'd like to ask Germans who can be the immigrant.  The answer usually starts with a very long pause.

Turks are capable people and have been in the country on work visas and permanent immigration since the 1960s.  Up until the last decade when this jihad business and Muslim discussion came up.....there wasn't a big argument against Turks.  Today, so many communities are seeing a Mosque being built, and their Turkish neighbors suddenly become very dedicated to Islam....that it bothers them.

Greeks?  Well...they usually rank better than Turks but then you have work differences (note, I didn't say they were lazy....it's just that Germans tend to use words that might translate into lazy).

Russians?  Well....you come to the White Russian topic where these former Germans (from the hundreds of years ago) desire to come back to Germany.  In the beginning....this was acceptable but then Russian Mafia issues popped up.  Then you had the jokes about every Russian carrying a knife (which might be true, but it's best not to ask them).

Poles?  Germans have this 1,000 year opinion about Poles.  It's like a guy from southern parts of America talking about his cousin, who just isn't as smart as he is or married into the right way as he is.  Poles tend work in the black alot (meaning they work for cash and on weekends....to avoid taxes).

Danes?  They get favorable mentions but frankly, Danes don't move to Germany, period.  In fact, Danes don't move anywhere unless it's mandatory or for a hot spouse.

The British?  No.  Don't even bring up the topic.

The French?  Both the Germans and the French insult each other on a daily basis.  So you won't see any French immigrating.

The Chinese?  There is this uneasy growth of German-Chinese relations.  It's like two very sophisticated societies meeting and discussing their future....and realizing that neither really fits well in the other's environment.  I would imagine that China would love to send 40,000 smart and gifted Chinese professionals to Germany every year.  Course, 39,999 would be trained in spying on industry projects, and one Chinese guy would end up on TV as a smiling evening commentator for Channel One.

Italians?  Italians hate rigid society situations.....which Germans absolutely demand.  This is a marriage made in hell.

Then, I came to this one unique group....Americans.  It would be an unusual comedy of sorts....Germany offering immigration options for 50,000 Americans a year?  Would Americans even come to Germany?  Would Germans accept the idea of possible conservative Americans arriving and changing their society into a less liberal country?

I pondered upon this radical idea.  First, you'd have to attract the Americans....with steady jobs.....dependable pensions.....a good economy.....public infrastructure....and a lifestyle change beyond anything they'd ever dreamed of.

A jet arriving every two days with two hundred Americans?  A four-week orientation course in local areas...indoctrinating the poor Americans into German habits.  Teaching the Americans to recycle and act German in public?

It's a radical idea.  I suspect that Germans might actually prefer these pitiful Americans over just about all other ethic groups.  Germans perceive Americans often being naive.  They haven't had the right education.  They haven't had the right explanations to things in life.  Americans were never given chances to acquire culture....like Germans.  So now....in this unique German situation....maybe the poor Americans could finally assimilate (yes, kinda like the Borg).  It would take patience and lots of effort on the poor American, but yes, he could become German.

I suspect....somewhere in the basement offices of the German government in Berlin....there is this plan underway.  Attract 40,000 Americans into arriving on the shores of Germany, and become the better immigration partner.

Americans will laugh over this ad.  They will comment on the radical move to their friends and relatives....but somewhere in Iowa and New Jersey....there will be these people who have an interest in doing something radical.  And they move to Germany.  Radical, I agree.....but it's the German thought process.