If You Write It, They Will Pass It

The Local reported the article...which has appeared around Germany yesterday in various publications. The German government more or less admitted that its new citizenship test is "golden" (passable to the max). They are reporting that 98 percent of immigrants are making it on the first attempt.

Naturally...this makes the big guys in the government upset because now they think it's TOO easy.

The numbers? 120,000 took the test....and 2,700 had to repeat it. Of the 2,700....roughly ninety percent passed it on the second attempt.

Back around four years ago, when this discussion came up....I found a copy of the test in English. Without studying it...I took the 100-question test (the real test today involves only 33 questions). I came to pass with 75 correct answers. Now, I will admit I have a background in history and government. I will admit that I've traveled around the country and know a fair amount of German writers and philosophy. But if you consider...with no studying and no classroom attendance (as forced today)...I did pretty well.

At the time, and even now...I've suggested that if you gave the same test to a dozen Germans of age forty....I'd bet on less than half passing it on the first attempt. A lot of Germans know nothing about German literature or art. I'd wager that half the Germans over the age of forty know much about the way that laws are passed, and frankly, they don't care.

So a tougher test? Just how tough do you want it? An essay test to be judged by some Frankfurt University literature professor? A test to spell out the state capitals of each German state? A question that requires you to remember the chief characters of the forty-four best German fictional works? Or how about a test to disassemble an engine of a 1971 Volkswagen Beetle?

Frankly, if people are given 300 test questions ahead of time....the majority will memorize them. It doesn't matter if we talking nuclear physics or the history of Japan. So either accept the outcome or just get dopey in front of the camera as you explain why you are so unhappy with the test.

A German Knows How to Suffer

Basically, if you were a traveler on the German bahn system this summer...on the ICE trains...where the temperatures climbed to 150-odd degrees in some cases onboard the trains....then you stand to get a payment if you complained.

From this weekend's news...the Bahn says they will pay out 2.7 million Euro to the 23,000 folks who complained and suffered.

Basically...it comes out to around 115 Euro each ($140 roughly).

You have to imagine this scene...you climb aboard on the train in the midst of July, and you expect some chill in the interior. The door closes, and then you realize there's no chill. Within three minutes, your temperature in the cabin is around 120 degrees. Then you start to sweat.

You gaze at your watch...there's 18 minutes before the train stops next and you could get off. You have a bottle of water with you and you take three big gulps. You pause to think over how miserable you feel.

Five minutes go by, and the temperature has climbed another ten degrees. You would like to take off your shirt but that would be undignified. As you start to arrive at the next station...you are thinking whether you can make the remaining 32 minutes on the train until your final destination, or you should just get off to regain your body temperature. As a true German, you accept the heat and keep seated. Another 32 minutes will pass in this 130-odd degree cabin before you reach your final destination.

For this suffering....you get a lousy 115 Euro? That's it? AMTRAK would have paid over $5k per passenger and then had lawsuits to ask for $100k. And a German stands to accept the 115 Euro, then put it into his savings account to make 1.5 percent interest...that's the sad part about this. No matter how you twist it...a German knows how to suffer and just accept it.

Those Big German Words

At some point in my youth, and later in my 30's...I got into an attempt to learn the German language. At some point, I started to pick up some and there was this step up in my vocabulary. But then I'd always hit a peak...meeting something that just didn't make sense, and I'd reverse course for a while.

One of those odd things that I've come to hate about the German language...is this attempt by the creationists to invent words that just ramble on....those stupid 33-letter words that you can only pronounce if you've had two liters of beer.

There's the word....Eisenbahnknotenpunkthinundherschieber. Even when you try to break this up into six words and just tie them all together...it's difficult. The meaning of the word? It's the railway switch-yard person. To be kinda honest, it's a dying trade but it has to remain in the dictionary for a obvious reason.

There's also the word....Hubschrauberlandeplatz. It means helicopter landing pad.

I can remember some language professor putting six of these up on the board as an example about the harsh nature of the German language. Then I came to realize that all were invented words of the past eighty to one hundred years. These were not words from the 1840s of Germany, and most had something to do with technology.

In a way, the language creation guys are causing this issue to continue on. They want precision but end up making a word that even half of the German population has no idea of what it means. The odds of any German using one of these 33-letter words? At best, you might find one in twenty Germans who had used a single one of these words in a 70-year life span.

So when some German rattles off some seven-syllable word, and you think it's a joke...it's not.

Berchtsgarden & the "Hill"

Down about Berchtsgarden, on the backside of the town, you've got the lift that would take you to the Eagle's Nest.

For this time of year, this is an interesting place to hang out. There's a lift at the bottom which will take you to the top.

I've been there twice, and my favorite of the trip is always the scenic points along the lift.

Up and down this mountain, there's cabins and trails. A guy can rent one and smell clear mountain air. It's fairly cool at night....even in July and August. You arise to see this great view in the morning. And there's virtually no crime.

A guy could be addicted to something like this....but then by October, there's snow falling and by November, there's probably three feet of snow which doesn't melt until March or April.

The interesting thing about this trip is that you can ride to the top, and then do the 4-hour walk down the mountain.

So if you are in the region, and have half a day to just chill out, then check out Berchtsgarden.

One Little Change

Typically, things rarely change in Germany. If you can imagine a country where a hundred guys stand around and discuss things to the ninth degree....then rehash history....then debate over the pluses and minuses....and then adjourn for debate another day of discussion....then this is the place.

This week, the topic of driver's licenses came up in Germany. It was a iron-clad deal in Germany where you did your driver's test, got your license, and it was good forever. There were always folks showing on TV to brag of their original license from 1934 or 1951. They hadn't lost it or had it stolen.

Things appear to be in line for a change this week. The EU got folks into a mindset that licenses needed to be redone every fifteen years or so. There was a need for new technology to be used and security kept up to date. So the new rule would be that you have to renew your license.

The interesting thing here is that the EU also wanted a second change incorporated into the system, a health physical. The Germans balked at that.

I sat and pondered over this. They had concerns over security of the license business but they couldn't dare bring up the complex nature of older folks driving when they shouldn't. Every year, there are dozens of accidents where someone is injured or dead because the elder driver just wasn't up to the task. The cops will write the report, and eventually....if the driver survived....he'll face a judge who recommends the license be taken away.

The political folks could have taken the extra step and simply mandated a eye exam but they didn't want to upset those older folks. They could have mandated a simple ten question test where the 65-year old guy merely needs five right answers to pass. They could have just asked for a mere doctor's note to attest that Huns is ok to drive at 78. But they decided to avoid real debate on this side of the big issue.

So change will likely occur shortly. Just don't anticipate significant change.

The Frankfurt Car Show

We are three weeks away from the Frankfurt Auto Show. Scheduled currently for 15 to 27 September.

For those of you who've never been to the show...my advice.

It is one of the top car shows to attend in the world. That said....it also costs a fair amount for the entry ticket. Figure between entry, food and drinks....around thirty-five Euro per person over the day.

Avoid going on the weekend. Typically a Monday or Tuesday entry has less folks. There is a massive crowd attached to this....no matter what happens.

Yes, there is parking in the local area....just follow the "P" signs around the expo hall. You generally pay a fair amount for that.

How many hours? Anticipate at least three hours being necessary....maybe more.

Food? Well....if you have a choice about it....don't eat at the expo hall area because it's all cheap and fatty. You'd best drive off into the heart of Frankfurt and find a real restaurant.

Train? Yes, you can take the train into the Hauptbahnhof at Frankfurt and then ride three minutes by the trolley over to the expo hall (you can walk the same distance in fifteen minutes free).

The best part of the show? In the back hall, there's a area for Chinese car exhibits....with skimpy-dressed blonde women with unusual accents (maybe Swedish, maybe Finnish....take your choice). They generally speak English and know virtually nothing about their car. They were fashion models hired and generally just look hot, lusty, and provocative. Trust me...I wouldn't buy the Chinese car, but I'd sit and pause over it for a while.

You May Be Under Surveillance

There is a law working itself via the German Bundestag that would require all bosses or business operations to warn employees when hidden cameras are employed.

I sat and read it....and thought about this for 60 seconds.

Basically....a permanent camera could be mounted to face the three cash register clerks in the front, and this would be legal....only if the boss had a sign by the cash register to warn the employee about these existing. In a way, it's comical.

Several cases have come up in the past five years....where hidden cameras were used to catch employees, and folks have said that this ought to be illegal. Never mind the fact that employees sometimes do illegal things.

So the German answer here....a long as a stupid sign exists there in front of the employee and says there might be cameras around....that's ok. I get the impression that the US isn't the only country passing dopey laws.

Turkish Cops in Germany?

There are several German communities with large Turkish populations...and the authorities have come to note over the past couple of years that crime committed by the new immigrants is now becoming a problem.

The German cops have tried a couple of different things but there's no real change in behavior, nor any change to the statistics. So, the German authorities are now examining a new and bold move...Turkish cops from Turkey.

You can imagine this scenario having some consequences and disbelief from the local German populations.

Based on comments, the impression is that the Turkish cops will be a temporary situation and ride with another German cop. Nobody has said anything about them being armed, and it would be curious what arrangement is going to be made about this. Turkish cops normally carry weapons and I'm betting that they demand that privilege in this case.

As for the outcome? I've been to Turkey and watched cops function there. You basically don't screw around or raise your voice. They ask direct questions and you'd best just comply and hope that nothing major occurs. I'm thinking these new immigrant Turks with issues in complying with German cops....are going to find a very difficult situation with the new cops.

German residents may dislike this greatly but frankly, there's not much left in the bag of tricks for the authorities to try. And if this doesn't work, they might as well admit defeat.

The Tax Game

We are back to the next round of the tax game. Some guy now says that he's got evidence over 250 German companies....who have dealt mostly in communications or real estate in Switzerland, and deposited their profits in Swiss banks....quietly. He is suggesting missed tax income of roughly 800 million Euro (a billion dollars).

So far, the German government is moving slowly. This guy wants to be paid for his information and no one is confident yet over his information.

For the real estate guys....I'm taking a bold guess on this but they are likely middle-guys on deals and helped to sell a German-owed property in Switzerland to another German. They pocket their money and simply deposit it in the nearest Swiss bank. As far as they are concerned...it's not German-taxed. It's an illegal episode but across all of Europe...you've got various folks concluding deals in private and simply exchanging money. Official documents are likely worked via the local county court house and a guy is paid some money to just stamp the document complete.

The communications companies? This is a more difficult situation and I can only imagine someone trying to put up a network in a building and hiring a German company to drive down and set this up. Cash is exchanged and then deposited.

The German tax guys are getting smarter each and every year. They now grasp the thousands of ways that folks avoid paying their taxes. The tide is turning on these characters and they absolutely have to depend on the Swiss banks keeping their mouth shut. For this character to come out and say he's got the information to nail them....it means that the Swiss system is no longer secure.

My guess is that these events are simply pushing the rich German guys to move further away from Europe and find more isolated parts of the world to hide their cash and profits. Someday, there'll be this announcement of a major German millionaire community being built in Libya and we'll all have a laugh over how stupid this is. Then we'll eventually come to realize that this was brilliant in terms of being able to hide your profits.

Germans and Their ATM Troubles

There's this argument going on in the German public sector over bank and ATM fees.

Up until maybe fifteen years ago....most Germans were still using the teller system and stopping by after work once a week to pick up all the cash they needed. At some point.....there was this division. The old dudes kept up the bank visit practice, and the younger folks went straight to the ATM card. Time has passed now, and the old dudes are dying out, and the banks are realizing this vast empty pocket on profits. Naturally, the ATM fees are now a problem.

If you go with most German banks....it's around four to five Euro per ATM transaction....basically $6 to $7.50. For an American, this is a silly amount to pay.....just to remove $100. Germans have built this into a science though....making one trip over per month and removing what they need for the whole month. Then they utilize their charge card to charge on gas, groceries, and everything else of a fair amount.

Yes, they do carry around a bit of cash with them....but if you asked the typical German around thirty-five years old....he'd probably admit he barely has 120 Euro ($145) in his pocket on pay-day for the next month to spend. He'll budget this out and keep himself in check. He knows when he can have a beer or two....buy his lotto cards....or pick up flowers for the girlfriend.

This discipline that Germans have brought themselves up on.....sustains this notion of one visit per month.

The thing....some banks are charging ten Euro per ATM transaction ($12.50). The experts are laughing over this mess because a typical bank only needs around 65 cents to actually perform the feat. So they are making at least a couple bucks profit each time, and in some cases.....almost ten bucks.

Naturally, the government wants to get banks to volunteer to fix this. Some banks want a simple solution and a couple of bucks profit. And some banks think they deserve maximum profit, unless the government forces them to do otherwise.

The media has covered this discussion in fair detail. The public has various opinions on this. The truth of the matter is that most folks really don't want to get angry at their bank because they don't want to switch....this old problem of 'change', and the German attitude to avoid it at all costs.

In the end, the sad part about this story is that the German government will be forced into this solution because no one wants to truly solve or fix the problem.

Your German Taxes

Quietly....ever so quietly...it was mentioned today that the government is exploring this idea of some tax credits...especially since the economy is "booming". Based on the numbers, Germany is the one nation in Europe that is truly surging ahead and 2011 looks great.

So you'd expect Germans to be all peppy and happy over this hint. But the reality is that they aren't expecting much of anything.

In fact, today....via the Irish Times....it's being reported that the amount that the government is thinking about to hand back to the public...is a mere 500 million Euro ($650 million roughly). Yep, they didn't even make it to the one billion range.

The comical part of this great deal? Well...the FDP guys are talking about simplifying the code...which may not mean a penny more in the long run....but it sure sounds good for the camera.

So if you were a middle-class German...maybe you'd get an extra 300 Euro back from what you got last year. It's enough to maybe wallpaper the living room.

Adapting to German Habits

DIE WELT published the results from an interesting study that shocked me. This study? “Fertility of Immigrants: A Two-Generational Approach in Germany”.

Basically...after immigrant families arrived in Germany and got set up....especially with the second and third generation...they have settled back to the German habits of having fewer kids.

Right now...with the current generation...these immigrant families are still slightly ahead on the numbers of kids they produce...but you can already figure that the fourth generation will likely match up with the German numbers.

The study even points out that the immigrant generations still marry up two years younger than Germans and have kids earlier....but the number of kids are decreasing.

So, what does this mean?

There was this German expectation that foreign families were going to help in the German population problem. Naturally, by foreign...a lot of Germans were thinking Italian or Greek or Polish. But right now, even with the Turks...it'd be helpful to boost up the population for the decades to come.

This interesting trend continues on. The cause or trigger to fewer kids? Most everyone is agreed that the cost of living and taxes amount to a standard that folks have adapted to and will not be shifting away from. The amusing part of this story is that Turks have shown themselves to be adapting to the German model.

The grand national problem still exists and frankly...it just forces the political folks back into the corner on the issues of getting folks to have more kids and keep the country populated.