The Domino Effect

A number of years ago....I went with some folks over to a clinic, and we were all there to get a shot for a overseas traveling event.  You can imagine a line at the shot office.  They had only one lady handling the paperwork, and one nurse doing the shots.

At some point early on, as we stood there and waited patiently for this to start up.....one person got their shot....flinched....giving a heavy painful emotion on their face.  Two or three people behind this first guy....some individual was watching and then suddenly....fainted.  It was a pretty dramatic fall to the floor.  The nurse got all peppy then by pulling out some alcohol bottle and dosing some tissue with it, like some smelling salts stuff.

The person behind the fainter....was watching all this unfold, and I was fixed on their face.  You could tell that a panic attack was underway, and this person was starting to breathe heavy and found herself a chair.  She didn't collapse but she was heading in that direction.

By this point....I started to get this nauseous feeling.  I turned around and just walked out the front door. I would return later after this whole mess cleared up.

Well...they had this curious event in a school in Germany.  These kids....eleven and twelve-year olds.....at Remigianum's local school....were in the midst of biology.  Of course, it was a curious lesson plan....over the human body and sexuality.  The teacher wanted everyone to sit and draw up the internal and external organs of the human body.

I'm guessing that the teacher had some physical body item which they were showing everyone (the same type model that doctors use at times to show stuff.  The news folks didn't get into details, but most schools have the plastic model.

In the midst of drawing this stuff....some kid got nauseous and collapsed.  The teacher got all peppy and called for an ambulance.  You can't take chances these days.

In this moment of high stress and anxiety......kid number two then breathe heavy, and then collapses.  You can imagine the kids in the room.....lot of stress....some folks freaking out by this point.

So a third kid started to collapse and fall to the floor.

By the time that the ambulance folks arrived....six kids were in need of some assistance.

By that point, they had hustled the remaining kids out of the room....stabilized the event, and things were in control.

The school is probably a bit fearful of parents asking a bunch of questions and wanting answers that no one can rightfully answer.  Germans take this kind of event serious.

Some toxicology guy will likely come in and measure up mold in the room and check for chemicals.  But what you really have is a chain reaction of kids.

Journalists don't really say much about the teacher, but I'm guessing the teacher is a bit overcome by the entire event and likely taking a day or two off.  Some psychological expert likely will come and discuss the matter with the director and the regional school boss.   It'll be a simple explanation.

Months from now, in a new school year....some kids will remember this event, and probably all get uneasy just thinking about what happened.....and maybe trigger another such event.  You can't tell.

The Raids

The German news media is reporting the raids of today....aimed at seven individuals connected to the Muslim religion.

What we basically know?  These guys were developing this idea of using remote-control airplanes....the type that model enthusiasts enjoy to play with in open fields.....with explosive materials....and hit certain targets.

Roughly a hundred cops were involved in the raids.....with one report indicating a raid by Belgium cops as well.

A top-ten story?  Barely.  Even Bild placed it down around number six.

Some of the major newspapers are waiting until tomorrow's edition to really say much on the item.

The jest of this?  One could assume that the cops had been watching these guys for a while, and somewhere in their planning....they screwed up and were fairly obvious.  How big of a deal is this?  The model planes aren't of a significant size....so you'd have to use some type of plastic explosive, and the damage would have a limited scale.

Destruction of a dam?  Probably unlikely.  Destruction of a power-grid station?  Possibly.  Destruction of some aircraft attempting to land?  Possibly.  Destruction of some vessel on the Rhein River?  Possibly.  There's limits to the use of this small model-plane apparatus.

The Muslim guys?  I'm guessing they are each sitting in a private cell tonight....thinking over what they discussed, and who might have informed on them.  Maybe a cousin....maybe the wife....maybe their daughter.

The case will take weeks to develop and I doubt if anyone of these folks appear in court in 2013.  As for other Muslims around the country....engaged in planning activities?  They are likely a bit disturbed and wondering if the cops are listening in on their plans.

And the Chancellor?  She's probably sitting there and appreciating fine detective work.....but quietly wondering if her guys are absolutely one step ahead of trouble.

The Rich German Story

So this report came out where the 'richness' of nations was examined.  There are approximately one million millionaires in Germany today.  Considering there are barely eighty million residents.....that's a big achievement.  The growth?  At least ten percent since 2011 when they did the last such survey.  That puts Germany near the top on this millionaire business.

Some people would look at this statistic and immediately say that some wealth distribution effort needs to be implemented.  Then they'd say in public that the rich are getting richer....off the backs of working class.  It's a nifty quick reaction statement....without thinking much about German reality.

Let's talk German society and culture.....and how they got rich.

First, Germans are not the type that jump up and fall into a fake get-rich-quick scheme.  They ask too many questions, and then usually go to their local banker to their opinion.  It would take weeks and months of effort to get a couple of people to hand off vast amounts of their fortune to some new investment scheme that suddenly appears.  Germans tend to calculate, and avoid risks.....it's always been that way.

Second, Germans put a fair amount of their wealth into their property, their house, or their real estate.  Go and examine any house in the 'burbs' of Wiesbaden or Stuttgart.  Every year....some enhancement is done.....a new landscaping project....a new patio....a new security camera....better drainage....more lighting around the outside....new windows....etc.  A house that might have been worth 200,000 Euro back in the early 1990s.....is probably worth 400,000 Euro today.  It's not just the neighborhood going up in value....the home is improved and modernized.

Third, pop-up companies like Facebook in Germany?  It's a tough sell.  The vast majority of Germans just aren't the type to go and toss money into the stock market or buy up IPO shares.  The new company has to have something of tangible sense.  It has to be physical products that attract attention.  Just selling something digital will not be a draw for investment.

Fourth, the investment mania that you tend to see in the US....isn't a common occurrence in Germany.  In a village of 300 residences in Germany....it's hard to find people who actively do day-trading, week-trading, month-trading, or even year-trading.  If you find some local German guy who does trade on the DAX or common market....he's likely a member of some local investment club or been to seminars to get smart.  The typical average German isn't that well-versed in stock trading.  You could stop a subway car in Frankfurt with eighty people on it, and I doubt if you could find more than ten people who have ever traded in their life with stock.

Fifth, Germans already tax the heck out of people.   Yet the German millionaire rates continue.  The money taken?  It floats into infrastructure situations....from bridges to roads.  An American could arrive and spend two weeks driving around the country....shocked at the quality of roads, streets, drainage, cell-phone coverage, airports, and cleanliness.  The average rich German can depend on quality police coverage, safe streets to walk upon, low crime across the country, limited corruption, and general trust with political figures.

Sixth, when you sit and examine the hobbies of most German millionaires....you tend to find that they collect things.  A successful butcher, who has moved from working-class to wealth and has amassed five or six million Euro.....will likely have some coin collection, or a garage of antique cars, or private hunting property in Bavaria, or gun collection.  It's almost a sure bet that ten percent of his wealth is tied up in a collection and is part of the way that he measures to being a millionaire today.

Seventh, Germans are probably more accepting than most societies to simply look for good decent dividends....that are dependable each and every year.  They would question any company that suddenly started paying out a seven-to-ten-percent dividend.  A stable economic environment is probably more of a concern to the typical German....than a booming market.  Rocking the boat....isn't going to be a motto that a wealthy German would use.

Finally, as a business-smart German builds on his or her empire....they are concerned over operations, stability, public image, and taking success step by step.  In their circle of friends (the people they use the term "du" with).....they would prefer to avoid scandal or embarrassment.  It takes years for Germans to build onto the "du" side of friendship....so losing that moment of respect actually does matter to a German.

The trend?  I'd be willing to bet that the growth simply continues.  The millionaires might get into an austerity period, and push that new Porsche purchase back six months....but it's going to happen anyway.  A sudden down turn on the German economy?  Unlikely.  A German walking around in 1946....would be shocked to view their culture and society today.  Recovery is absolute.

The Obama Appearance

Based on journalist reports for the President's speech in Berlin.....there were probably around 5,000 Germans at the Brandenburg Gate.  A dramatic difference from five years ago....when around 200,000 Germans showed up to hear him speak.

The cause?  It's hard to say.  It was in the middle of the week.  It was awful hot....even Germans have limits when it's around 32C (roughly 90 degrees).  Germans may have lost their passion for his speeches.  And this recent episode with the NSA stuff....it probably didn't help.

The glare off the protective glass?  Very obvious.  I'm guessing it heated up his stage area by five degrees.

The nuke talk?  Well....you'd have to get that deal past Congress and the Senate.....and neither appear very willing to make it a top-ten issue.  If you went out to a thousand Americans today and asked them to rate problems....the nuke weapon thing would be around issue number two hundred.  In most states....it might even be rated lower than fighting tick infestations or library closures.

The sales job on the Germans for nukes?  It would have been great talk in 1988.  The Greens would have loved this discussion, and a good portion of the liberal side of German politics would have gotten all peppy.  Today?  I doubt if one German out of ten would say much on the issue.  Most would rate their worries about nuclear warfare down near the worries over the autobahn speeds, funny smells from the Mainz streets, or the cost of using a toilet on the autobahn.

So it's done.  The chance of another visit in the remaining three years?  Zero.  This trip and crowd attendance pretty much guarantees it.  Germans may have hated George Bush....but they've come to just wink at President Obama and not take much of his talk that serious.

That Other Party

The major newspapers and media of Germany have been conducting various polls to do some predictions of the fall elections.

The CDU can rest somewhat.....there's zero chance that the SPD can mount a serious challenge.

But in recent days, there's this oddball statistic that pops up in some polls.  No one really wants to take the new political party....the Anti-Euro Party (AfD)....serious.  So they tend to be left off most polls.

Well....Bild (a national newspaper) finally did include AfD, and there's a bit of a shock.  The party came in third with around fifteen percent of the polling data going to them.

Bild still holds an official news position that AfD can't possibly get past the five percent point, and thus, will not be part of the Bundestag after the fall election.

The public?  They aren't necessarily buying into Bild's perception of the party.

The cog that runs the AfD wheel?  Call it growing discontent over the Euro, the neighbors in financial crisis, or just negative feelings against the established parties....but there's feelings that some significant change that needs to occur.  Their biggest problem?  Beyond finance, taxes, the Euro, and some mythical change, there's just not much.

The fifteen percent take on this?  The CDU would have a problem if AfD takes roughly fifteen percent of the national vote.  I would suspect that they really don't want to partner up with AfD, but they'd have few choices left.  You need to present control of fifty percent of the new Bundestag, and the only way to make that is either a partnership with AfD or the SPD.

Finally, the American prospective on this?  Whether Germans like that view or not....the AfD is basically the American Tea Party.  Arguments would arise over this idea.  I'm sure Germans would hate to hear that comment.  But it is moving in that direction.

Austerity Vacations?

I read through an article this week....hyping up 'austerity tourism'.  The newest trend in German culture...is austerity.  Most Germans would admit privately....it's been a German trend for a thousand years, and it's no big deal.  Germans have always been frugal with their money.  Yeah, you could say they sometimes do things on the cheap side.....but it's a general tendency to ask for discounts, and buy things only when it's cheaper than usual.

So vacations have now fallen into the austerity bucket.

The emphasis of the article I read was that Greece was finally the biggest target for austerity tourism.  Flights were discounted.  Hotels were cheaper than usual.  Package deals were the cheapest in ten years.  All of this was an invitation for a German to plan a austerity vacation.

An American would look at this whole thing and ask what exactly does austerity mean?  It's an easy comparison.....after all....we Americans end up looking for discount hotels options as we travel.  We tend to stop at cheaper restaurants (IHOP, the Waffle House, and Arbys), as we progress across the country.  We look for a airline special, or some discounted travel packages, and generally expect to save a nickel and dime where we can.  Germans tend to do the same thing.

As for a German falling for the Greek discounted deals?  Well....there's this little issue of the 'Nazi-image' that the Greeks pulled out during their economic downfall.  Some Germans took this to be harsh language and might be a bit hostile over making a trip to Greece.  Whether this episode is overlooked and austerity planning kicks into play, it's hard to say.

The bottom line?  If all else fails on austerity vacation planning, there's always the option of spending two weeks in Bavaria.  It's best not to suggest this to any German though....it's a disappointing thing to accept Bavaria as the fall back position.

The Bread Story

This is a story that popped up and takes some explaining for an American.

In the old days of Germany...probably fifteen to twenty years ago....if you wanted fresh bread, you went to a German bakery.  Every village had one.  Everything was piping hot as you got there at 6AM, and you had forty choices of bread or rolls.

So years passed, and in every single village and town.....a new grocery appeared.  It replaced the Mom and Pop shops.  The groceries were looking for angles to always get more customers in the front door.  Specials weren't enough.  Changing the hours around....to be open at 7AM didn't really help, unless you had a purpose for those shopping at 7AM.

They eventually came to this idea.  Put a "fake" bakery into the grocery.

To explain a "fake" bakery....it's a oven area, with a sales shop.  The dough?  All manufactured at some central processing plant in the region.  Some guy drives over around 5AM and dumps off two or three carts.  The kid at the grocery accepts the stuff, and pops five of the trays into the oven at 6AM and by opening hour.....he's got lots of piping hot bread and rolls.  You walk into the store, and you've got the fresh smell of bread in the air.

Real bakeries took a hit.  They didn't have the open parking lots, and most of the grocery operations were at the end of the village or out on the main road.  The "fake" bakery even offered coffee to go.

As time as gone by, the grocery operations have taken to a ad campaign.   They have noted themselves as having fresh-baked bread.  The bakeries?  They finally had something to go after the competition.  Court action.  Just tossing the dough into a oven is not enough to be freshly-baked, at least in the minds of real bakers.

A comparison between the two groups?  Course, I am an American....so I might have a different sense on this.  To be honest....the bakery guys probably do make a better bread or roll.  But when you get into the 7AM rush to run off to work.....the typical local bakery is the last place that you'd want to look for parking or try to get a coffee with a roll.  So that "fake" bakery at the grocery is appealing to me....even if their wares are second-rate.

Bakeries are surviving for the most part.  It's tough competition, and they've lost probably half of their regular customer base.  On the other side of the coin.....I can attest to the fact that a lot of people are eating more bread than they did two decades ago.

It's a curious war of competition.  My advice....if you are an American in Germany....enjoy the breads....whether they be from the "fake" bakeries or the real bakeries.  It's all pretty good.

The American Gestapo: 2013

It's hard to be sarcastic or cynical with Germans.  They tend to take things fairly seriously.

This week, after the Guardian produced this report on the US collection of private data, which likely includes a lot of Europeans...you can imagine the general feeling over this American data collection effort.  Germans who indulge in Facebook or computer activities....probably are a bit testy, and believe that any American within reach....ought to get a mouthful on this topic.

So, this is what an American should respond with....when tasked by a German and the terrible woes of what we collected.

First, let the German know....that we've collected every single call, and have a complete database of eighty million Germans.  We know about the Saturday afternoon calls to their sister, the 8AM call to the boss complaining of some illness, and the weekly calls to some Dutch guy who the husband doesn't know about.

Second, we not only collect the calls....but we collect financial transactions.  We know that they buy special cat-food for Herr Winky (their precious Persian cat).  We know they paid excessively for that all-inclusive trip to Crete.  We know all about the forty complaints they've lodged with the car repair shop and their crappy service.  Plus, we know about the sixty Euro transactions with some local service called "Crazy Sexy".

Third, we monitor each email.  There's some German language folks we've hired from Texas....who spend hours and hours pouring over your daily and weekly email correspondence.  We keep fourteen categories for each email to fit into and these are routinely briefed to President Obama with statistical analysis.

Fourth, we track all Germans with their cellphones.  We know the GPC coordinates, and can spell out the average fourteen trips a month to the local grocery, the five trips to the pharmacy, the two trips to the flower-shop, and some mysterious stop on the third Friday of each month to a bar over by the Rhein River.

Fifth, we monitor their TV habits....via their cable TV hook-up.  We know that Germans actually watch Knight Rider, a lot of Tatort episodes over the weekend, conservative cooking shows at midnight, twelve hours of soccer per week, and always tune to Channel One for their nightly news.

Sixth, at any given time from a secret CIA post in Hesse, we can tap into German telephone lines and listen to intimate conversations.  We've secretly built vast databases on recommended wines, and cheeses.  We've also got a database on the best Thai restaurants in each community and the negative comments over declining German soccer coaches.  We even have one analyst who is building up a database over kabob shops.

Seventh, we are developing an ability to identify every house in Germany, with the dog and cat activity in each.  It'll be marked on a Google map.  We haven't decided on the symbol yet, that's still under discussion (a proud German Sheppard or a wussy poodle).

Eighth, through the use of reconnaissance drones, we are monitoring the grassing cutting average of every single home in Germany.  We can easily identify who perform it weekly, and those who skip and do it every other week.  We also are working a landscaping listing to note the better houses and the better gardens.  You folks in Worms ought to know that you are listed at the bottom of grass cutting on a frequent basis.

Ninth, we hope to have the ability to eventually turn on kid's cellphones and listen into conversations within the home, and develop more in-depth databases.  Complaints about garbage cans not being emptied on schedule, untidy rooms, bathing schedules, and excessive alcohol consumption will be collected and monitored.

Tenth, our eventual hope?  To know each and every German, in an intimate sort of way.  We'd like to be able to walk up to Frau Winter's haus and knock....to introduce ourselves, and suggest that we are here to help her and fix all of her problems.  And in sixteen minutes....we go from a "Sie".....to a "Du".  That would shock German society overnight.

Yes, it is all a diabolical plan.  Conceived by President Bush, and carried out by President Obama.  Even Chancellor Merkel can't stop us.

The odds of a German believing all that?  I would hope....one percent.  But there just might be thirty percent of the country who'd believe everything I just spoke of, and that's pretty sad.

Thoughts of an American.....sadly.

Why You Need German Society and Culture

Years ago, it hit me that Mark Twain went off and spent some time in Germany around the winter of 1879.  It's hard to say if he was burned out or run down, but he might have been at some point in his writing career....where he just didn't have much else.

He ended up writing A Tramp Abroad in 1880 while in Munich.  And by 1884, back in the states....he wrote The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.  Some people think this trip rejuvenated Twain.  I doubt if he'd want to admit that.  He was nearing forty-five and might have been near the point of thinking he'd seen just about everything, and then discovered....there just might be more.

It would be wrong of an American to condense Germany down into 300, or 500, or even a 1,000 page book.  A guy could write four hundred pages just on beer....making some folks weep on the fine details of brewing and expecting only a five-star brew at the end of a process.

It might be wrong for an American to settle on ten days driving around the countryside of Germany and thinking he'd seen just about all there was, and turn the corner on the last day to find some golden wheat field in some rural Germany countryside, that you just wanted to pull off the side of the road and gaze at this brilliance of wheat laid out for miles and miles.

It could even be wrong for an American to sit at some Oma's restaurant on the edge of some vast rural area of Germany and think he'd already had the best schnitzel ever, and discover that this old gal was about deliver a plate beyond mortal means of consumption.  And you just couldn't decline eating the whole plate of food.

Germans have this preoccupation with them....fixated so to speak....on giving only the best of the best. It doesn't matter if we are talking cars, lawn mowers, floor tiles, or fancy glass.

Germans tend to have expectations of schedules.  If that timetable says the train runs through this station at 1:23....it just won't settle with them in a pleasant way when it arrives at 1:29.  Comments will be uttered....the conductor might get a mouthful....and the station guy will note this in some little book.

Germans have a preoccupation with weather and the necessities of life when invoking the weather.  Summer and winter tires are a national thing....don't even bring up all-weather tires.  The discussion over chains?  A German will swear over the art of mounting them when in a bad situation.  The dozen odd sidewalk mixes for a icy situation?  You will use one of the dozen, period.....with no exception.

Yeah, Germans have a drawn tough look at Americans.  We aren't that precise.  We aren't always polite.  We aren't always acting within standards that people would expect.  We run a rough country, where crime is always discussed, and guns are issued out like candy.  At the end of the day....when some emergency comes out of nowhere, there's that American guy who just won't stand by idly and jumps into a mess, prepared for a fight beyond mortal expectations, or accepting a do-or-die statistical challenge.  Then the Germans kind of stand there, amazed how a crazy guy would do things like that without thinking a bit.

So Twain came and found this land at the end of the spectrum.  Crime wasn't rampant or even noticeable.  Folks sat on a hot summer afternoon, and sipped finely brewed and chilled beer (not too cold, but not warm either).  Twain likely ate some fine German cookies and marveled how German coffee was damn strong.  For all purposes, Twain was on another planet.  He'd found something to change his prospective and regain his creative edge.

Somewhere in this enormous world....there is this need for German society and culture.  We may not be totally sold on it, but it's a sense that out of chaos....you just might find some place with a bit of order.  And just a bit of order....might be enough to make you feel different.