Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Marriage Stumble

I was kinda surprised today....Germany admitted that it was forging ahead and criminalizing forced marriage.  In Alabama (where I grew up)....forced marriage kind of meant that some local boy was real stupid....got some girl pregnant, and her dad shows up with a baseball bat to indicate you would marry her (to make the situation right).  Everyone went along with this....even though everyone knew they'd be divorced within five years.  Yeah, we can admit it was stupid.

In this case, there is a fairly different scenario to view.  Forced marriages in Germany fit strictly into Muslim family situations.  You have some 16-year old girl who starts to look like a "problem".  The problem typically means that she's very liberal....anti-family....not cooperating with traditions of a typical Muslim family....and she needs intervention.

This intervention means that some cousins go out and find an older true-to-Islam guy and he's brought in to meet Dad to work out the arrangement.  Days later, Dad has a meeting with the daughter and lets her know that he's pick her husband, and it might be six months away or six days away.

The daughter typically freaks out.  She never expected Dad to be this crazy.  She talks to Mom....which does nothing for her case.  She talks to her cousin, who insists this is for her own good.  And then she has the last option of just trying to escape from the family.

Over the past ten years....there's dozens of episodes where young girls were forced to marry, or ran off to be found by the family later and beaten (in some cases, murdered by the family).

The government says that if convicted of a forced marriage (both Mother and Father) could end up with five years.  I'm guessing if kids are still left in the house....the DA would likely go for a full five year period for Dad, and maybe let Mom off with almost nothing.

This is an interesting mess.  Throughout the 1960s and 1970s....there weren't many of these forced marriage episodes.  In some ways, this mess comes up now because of increased Islamic peer pressure and more Mosques in existence than thirty years ago.  If some local guy thinks Musaff has gotten disrespect from his daughter....he'll make it a group topic and force Musaff into some reactionary phase that normally he would have never done.

In some ways....it's an integration problem.  People have their old perceptions in abundance, and need some fresh peer pressure that isn't of a Muslim variety.

I sat and pondered over this.  It's kinda funny when compared against Germans.  Here we have a vast number of German women.....some into their forties and fifties....still single, and Dad (Huns is now seventy years old) wished he had "forced" Dora to marry that punk idiot Dieter down the street back in 1988.

To be kinda honest, there's this vast problem of Germans 'waiting' for long and extended periods....before ever marrying.  You could have some healthy, highly educated, fit, lusty German gal standing there at age thirty-three, and really wishing something would happen.  Maybe some Prince Charming character from a foreign land (maybe Boaz, Alabama) or Italy walks up and she decides she'll overlook twenty of his serious faults and just accept the fool.

So, this is an interesting slice of German life to compare against a non-integrated German life.  One needs some help, and the other has to be threaten with five years in prison if they do anything stupid involving marriage.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Legends Fall Hard

There's one way to draw the ire of a German sports enthusiast....talk down on the 1954 World Cup victory by Germany.

This is the Holy Grail for most Germans.  This 3-2 victory was a mass turning point that really spun Germany into an positive attitude for the next ten years.

Any negative talk over the team or their accomplishment....usually turns you into an immediate target.

Today...we finally had a researcher who came along and suggested that the players in the 1954 World Cup...were injected with a stimulant (invented from WW II).  It's original purpose was for pilots, but made it's way down to tank crews by the end of the war.  The drug name?  Pervitin.  But you'd know it by methamphetamine.

It's a drug that typically you'd use for increasing your attention and give you a higher rate of aggression.  In rationed doses, and under a controlled atmosphere, it might be ok.

Doping in 1954?  I'm guessing this story will not make the German public happy.  It is a theory right now...mostly because there are no urine samples around that you could test.  Proving this to be a fact will be next to impossible.

A historical need to stage this investigation and publish?  This is the hard part to survey.  I'm guessing that ninety-nine percent of the German population would prefer this kind of thing never gets investigated.  Folks will sit around the pubs this weekend....discussing this....and feel kinda upset.  Their legend has been messed with, and they can't readily fight the story.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Integration Spin

I stopped and pondered this news item from Germany today.  The German integration commissioner....yes, they do have one....Maria Böhmer....stood up and said that the German government ought to have a Integration Ministry.

This is an odd situation to view.  Typically....when people arrive on your shores, they have this dream of getting into your system....being part of your success....getting a boost up via your economic system.....and melding into your society.

You go to America in the 1800s, and people wanted to be part of the "dream".  You go and look at immigrants in Canada over the past hundred years, and it's the same.  You go and look at Australia over the past hundred years....and it's the same.  Yet, we have Germany with this odd problem where people came for something but no one is sure about why they came...and integration wasn't in their top three priorities.  You'd like to ask what is in the top three....but you'd just intimidate them and make them feel uncomfortable.

So, the answer here?  You spend tens of millions of Euro, to create an entire ministry?  You start with 500 staff members who walk around and talk integration daily?  You buy twenty Audi A8 staff cars to get these integration chiefs from meeting to meeting?  You pay some graphic arts company 40k Euro to create a integration symbol so you can walk proudly onto any TV show?   And then you spread out to have integration offices in every state, then every county, and then every city?

Sitting at some Gasthaus tonight in the heartland of Germany are Huns and Franz.  The boys sit there and chat over the events of the day.  They've had two beers and are nursing through the positive economic trend, the latest antics of national soccer teams, and then they come to this topic of integration.

Huns scratches his head and wonders how exactly a national office will change things.  Franz will respond that  the Hartz IV office does help welfare recipients.  Huns will counter that a jobs office would be enough to help most of the welfare recipients.  They will argue back and forth for an hour.

Finally, Musaff the local Turk walks in and orders a beer.  Huns and Franz asks Musaff what he thinks of this integration office idea.  Musaff thinks for a minute and offers a simple analysis: the worst punishment for any German is to spend ninety minutes on a Sunday evening political chat show listening to some German ministry guy sparkle and shine over some fancy policy change.  Musaff smiles, and then says....if you don't integrate, then you'd don't learn the language, and then you won't understand a word from the idiot from the integration ministry.  You can sleep well at night by claiming non-integration and the only one all bent out of shape from Sunday night political chat antics, will be the German idiots listening.....who don't worry about integration anyway.

Huns and Franz finally realize the brilliance of this.  The next day, they both enroll in a Turkish language class and work hard to non-integrate themselves.  After five years, their blood pressure is lower, their lives are simpler, and they both are happy as non-integrated Germans....in the German heartland.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Good Immigrant

Immigration is one of those topics in Germany....that usually draws a blank stare and a desire to argue from your typical German.  Most Germans know there's this problem.  The German population is decreasing.  German companies need more employees.  It's a problem which never goes away.

So you reach a point where you'd like to ask Germans who can be the immigrant.  The answer usually starts with a very long pause.

Turks are capable people and have been in the country on work visas and permanent immigration since the 1960s.  Up until the last decade when this jihad business and Muslim discussion came up.....there wasn't a big argument against Turks.  Today, so many communities are seeing a Mosque being built, and their Turkish neighbors suddenly become very dedicated to Islam....that it bothers them.

Greeks?  Well...they usually rank better than Turks but then you have work differences (note, I didn't say they were lazy....it's just that Germans tend to use words that might translate into lazy).

Russians?  Well....you come to the White Russian topic where these former Germans (from the hundreds of years ago) desire to come back to Germany.  In the beginning....this was acceptable but then Russian Mafia issues popped up.  Then you had the jokes about every Russian carrying a knife (which might be true, but it's best not to ask them).

Poles?  Germans have this 1,000 year opinion about Poles.  It's like a guy from southern parts of America talking about his cousin, who just isn't as smart as he is or married into the right way as he is.  Poles tend work in the black alot (meaning they work for cash and on weekends....to avoid taxes).

Danes?  They get favorable mentions but frankly, Danes don't move to Germany, period.  In fact, Danes don't move anywhere unless it's mandatory or for a hot spouse.

The British?  No.  Don't even bring up the topic.

The French?  Both the Germans and the French insult each other on a daily basis.  So you won't see any French immigrating.

The Chinese?  There is this uneasy growth of German-Chinese relations.  It's like two very sophisticated societies meeting and discussing their future....and realizing that neither really fits well in the other's environment.  I would imagine that China would love to send 40,000 smart and gifted Chinese professionals to Germany every year.  Course, 39,999 would be trained in spying on industry projects, and one Chinese guy would end up on TV as a smiling evening commentator for Channel One.

Italians?  Italians hate rigid society situations.....which Germans absolutely demand.  This is a marriage made in hell.

Then, I came to this one unique group....Americans.  It would be an unusual comedy of sorts....Germany offering immigration options for 50,000 Americans a year?  Would Americans even come to Germany?  Would Germans accept the idea of possible conservative Americans arriving and changing their society into a less liberal country?

I pondered upon this radical idea.  First, you'd have to attract the Americans....with steady jobs.....dependable pensions.....a good economy.....public infrastructure....and a lifestyle change beyond anything they'd ever dreamed of.

A jet arriving every two days with two hundred Americans?  A four-week orientation course in local areas...indoctrinating the poor Americans into German habits.  Teaching the Americans to recycle and act German in public?

It's a radical idea.  I suspect that Germans might actually prefer these pitiful Americans over just about all other ethic groups.  Germans perceive Americans often being naive.  They haven't had the right education.  They haven't had the right explanations to things in life.  Americans were never given chances to acquire culture....like Germans.  So now....in this unique German situation....maybe the poor Americans could finally assimilate (yes, kinda like the Borg).  It would take patience and lots of effort on the poor American, but yes, he could become German.

I suspect....somewhere in the basement offices of the German government in Berlin....there is this plan underway.  Attract 40,000 Americans into arriving on the shores of Germany, and become the better immigration partner.

Americans will laugh over this ad.  They will comment on the radical move to their friends and relatives....but somewhere in Iowa and New Jersey....there will be these people who have an interest in doing something radical.  And they move to Germany.  Radical, I agree.....but it's the German thought process.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My Ten Germany Travel Tips

I'm always willing to offer some advice on Germany.  You have to remember....this is an American (from the South) who speaks and offers these tips.  I might be thinking in a radical way than a regular tourist expert would suggest.

First, there are 2,500 things of significance to see in Germany...if I'm really honest about this.  It's best to simply pick a region you'd really like to see, and narrow your list down to two hundred things in that region....and just be happy with that logic.

Second, yes, the vast number of Germans you bump into....under the age of forty....will speak some limited English.  Don't count on bus drivers, bakery clerks, farmers, or grocery clerks being in that list.  However, taxi-drivers, 14-year old kids, and pharmacy folks....probably have a higher chance of speaking (only my humble observations).

Third, read over a travel book in terms of food menu items and have five things that you might be interested in eating. Remember that pork is key to any meal (normally).  Remember that salt is always used in abundance.  If you have issues with hot food, don't order Gypsy-Schnitzel.  Lunches tend to be a minor meal, so lean on the dinner for your maximum enjoyment of food for the day.

Fourth, if in a major town like Hamburg or Munich....use public transportation.  Do not rent a car and expect to drive around these areas.  It's one thing to drive from one city to another....but within the city regions....you are better off in getting a all-day ticket for $8 and enjoying yourself.

Fifth, the best seasons?  Well....April through June is a low period of tourism with decent weather.  September through the end of October is great but expect rains and cooler weather.  Summer months are great but they can also be miserably hot (don't readily expect air conditioning everywhere).  Always have a sweater around in your bag.

Sixth, yes, soda cans and bottles are on a deposit deal.  So you need to return them to any shop.....to get your deposit back.  It's stupid but all Germans play this game.

Seventh, you can travel reasonable and stay at pensions or gasthauses.  This works out great in Bavaria and in smaller towns.  It's possible to stay in a decent place for $20 and even get a breakfast out of the deal.  The other side to this is that things will be rustic and very regular (like staying at Grandma's house for a evening).

Eighth, if you rent a car....figure out a way to get a GPS for the period there.  You really need it.  If you go by train....just a simple pocket map will be sufficient.     Utilize the GPS for traffic jams, if necessary.

Ninth, don't stand there and expect 'friendly' Germans everywhere.  Germans are a bit different.  If you need help or directions....ask for it.  Otherwise, a German won't go out of their way unless you indicate you have issues.  Typically....they won't deny you help.

Tenth, alcohol is a bit different in Germany.  If you order a beer, by the liter (which occurs in Bavaria)....then you could start to feel a bit drunk on the first one.  And you'd be fairly wasted by the third.  The various schnapps can taste like a glass of apple juice, but then pack a punch.  Honey schnapps won't even taste like alcohol.  So don't stand there and get drunk....then pass out under a tree (like those other tourists).

Above all....don't expect a trip to Germany to be cheap.  Things just don't work that way.  But you can travel on a decent budget if you are careful.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Heatballs

The EU (the actual device itself, which runs Europe) came out with this big rule....banning the sale of light bulbs.  Their intention was to switch everyone over to energy efficiency....by force.  If you made a bulb with 60 watts of power....you were banned in Europe.  It was a simple deal.

It was a shocker to some folks when this news came out.  Frankly, a couple of Germans actually took it with a bit of hostility and anger.  They thought the open market ought to determine things, and not the EU.

So this German guy....Siegfried Rotthaeuser sat around of thought of a nifty way of getting around the EU law.   Basically, they are still importing and distributing 75 and 100 watt bulbs in Germany (from China).

Siegfried and his brother-in-law....paused over these larger bulbs, and then realized that they weren't really light bulbs....they were "small heating devices."

Siegfried then created a new product called "heatballs."

You can see where this is going.  A German will not be forced down.  Once their mind clicks into turbo....they are out to maneuver around any stupid limits that you put in their way.  You can imagine the brilliance here.....heatballs.  Who would have dreamed something like this up?  And even if the idiots of the EU took him into court....he's prepared to show that 95 percent of a normal bulb....is heat.  There can't be a argument in any court in Germany.  I suspect that dozens of judges are sitting there and hoping their local court will be the place where they can rip up the EU folks.

The cost of heatballs?  They are discounting for around 1.70 Euro (roughly $2.40) each.  The boys were active in the first four days....selling all of the ordered batch of 4k.  You can figure they raked in $4k for their effort....and I suspect they've got the Chinese plant producing 100k more.  It'd be helpful if they had this all registered so they'd own "heatballs" completely.  I suspect a couple of companies are hoping to create "nuke-balls", "hot-balls", and even "turbo-balls".....just to carry the joke on.

I have to respect that brilliance that can come out of German engineers....even if they aren't really inventing anything new but a name.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Ten Things About German Recycling

If you were an American moving into Germany....one of the biggest things you need to adjust to....is recycling.  So I'm offering ten bits of advice on the topic.

First, don't ever take recycling as a joke.  Germans will quickly spend ten minutes trying to restore your insanity if you make a comical joke about it, or you really screw up badly recycling.   Once they start on this tirade, just stand there and don't smile or grin.  Take your punishment and just hope that it ends in three minutes rather than ten minutes.

Second, batteries are special.  Don't ever throw them in the regular garbage.  At your local grocery....as you walk in....there will be a box to toss them in.  Just save them up and toss them each week.

Third, yes, there are garbage police.  It was a joke five years ago, but even now in most smaller towns and communities...there's some guy who comes around once or twice a year to open your can on disposal day.  If you have issues....he'll note your bar-code and fine you.  The can won't be picked up until you pay that fee and fix your issue typically.  So my hint....if you want to violate the rules....do it and then dump a bunch of stuff on top of your issue (just my humble secret advice).

Fourth, that bottle container is only for certain hours of the day.  If you leave home at 5AM and want to dump three wine bottles at the can in the middle of your town...forget it.  Don't dump your bottles on Sundays because that's typically forbidden.  So read the sign and ensure you don't have your car-tag noted by the locals and reported.

Fifth, if you screw up and don't push the paper container out on the right day....and miss your disposal chance....you are screwed big-time.  It'll be two weeks before the next episode and you might have to keep a garbage bag in the basement with overflowing paper until the big can gets emptied.  So track your days carefully.

Sixth, garbage is picked up by a contracted company and your fee typically goes to the county office itself.  If you rent, your landlord covers everything.  If you own....then you have to arrange things yourself.   The guys at the county office will ask you how many members are in the family at the beginning, and this relates to how big a can you get.  Typically....add one kid onto this because Americans donate more garbage than the average German (don't ask why).

Seventh, bio cans are a unique topic.  If you have a leaf/bio pile in the your backyard....then you avoid this little fee and can.  My guess is that thirty percent of German homeowners operate without the bio can.  The bio can is probably the stinkiest mess that you will ever deal with because everything organic goes into it.  A word of warning....citrus fruit typically is not allowed into the can.  Again, one of those German things.

Eighth, leaves.  You can dump leaves into your bio can or you can gather them up for a bag which you can dump yourself at the town's bio yard (usually free).  German neighbors typically sneak over and dump their leaves into your bio can....only because they've overfilled their own can.  So be watchful.

Ninth, the worst time of the garbage year?  Typically Christmas week.  Your can is filled by the half-way point and you've got a bag in the hallway to collect the overflow.  The garbage guys are running some type of special schedule for that two-week period, but no one is ever sure about that schedule.

Tenth, your Christmas tree is a unique episode for disposal.  Take the tree down by the 2nd or 3rd of January.  Move the tree to your front yard and wait for some signal of everyone moving their trees out as darkness falls for a early morning pick-up.  It's advertised in some local paper, but rarely seen because it's just a one-liner on some paragraph.  If you miss that pick-up.....it's best to just take a saw and cut the thing up to toss in the bio can.

Germans took to recycling as though it was a personal matter.  There's no jokes about this business as far as the culture goes.  Just accept that and your visit to Germany will be fine.