Defining Torschlusspanik

There are some occasional German words that you will come across and they don't make much sense.  Germans are fantastic creators of new words.....out of thin air.....to help define something.....yet they don't make practical sense.

So, we come to Torschlusspanik.  In plain definition....it would mean a panic over the closing of the gate.

You'd hear this and typically think we are talking about Huns-Peter and Dieter standing in the parking lot of the factory, and suddenly realizing the gate to enter the factory is closing and they might get stuck in the parking lot.

Well.....no.

The image here you need to have is an older person (sadly we could be talking about someone thirty-four years old).....who are now worrying about themselves in terms of age, accomplishments, lifestyle, love, romance, permanent partner, kids, job happiness......and this imaginary gate is closing upon them.  All of this would cause a panic.....which they translate into unhappiness and personal heartburn.

The fix?  Get hooked up with the right gal or guy......get a kid or two.....and get on with the normal expectations of life.

No one talks much about how many Germans suffer from Torschlusspanik.  It might be one-percent of society.....it might be five-percent.

This all leads to some business activity for match-making services around Germany.....where an agency takes your personal data and says they will help introduce you to some gal or guy who fits your profile.  In terms of desperation and past failures in relationships......you go and do something that you probably vowed that you'd never do.....trust in someone to find a person who fits your background.

The odds of the word popping up in a conversation with a German?  It's fairly low.  You could hang out with a hundred Germans for years and never hear the word mentioned.  You might be sitting at some pub where a female co-worker is approaching her forty-first birthday, and she's kinda negative and gloomy.....and has just enough alcohol to talk about something missing from her life, and then you ask if this is Torschlusspanik.    She'll look at you and just give you this doomed look.....looking for some inspiration or hope.

So, my humble advice.....don't confuse Torschlusspanik with some gate at work. It's a different meaning.