Thursday, December 28, 2023

I Was Once A Smart Owner

 Around 2005, I went and bought a 2002 (used) Smart car (the Fortwo).  It was one of those moments where I didn't use a lot of thought or reason in a car purchase.

Within a month, I had reasons to dump the car.  I ended up keeping it until mid-summer 2009.  

The problems?

1.  It burned oil.  From the first month, you could figure every six weeks....a half-can of oil was required.

2.  My local mechanic said it was impossible to drain the oil....you required a suction type device, which only the dealers had.

3.  The glass roof in summer?  It made the car hot and uncomfortable.

4.  The AC unit barely worked (above 34C, it was useless).

5.  Max speed ever was 135 kph.  Getting up to 135 took at least two minutes.  If you had the windows down (especially in the summer)....that slowed the car by 20 kph.

6.  Wind drastically affected the movement of the car on autobahns (especially at high speeds).  Any kind of breeze would 'bump' the vehicle to the left or right.

7.  The seats were crap.  On the car, they were the cheapest-built item.  

8.  Fuel capacity?  22 liters or 5.8 gallons.  I usually had to refuel every three days.  If that red-warning light came on...it's not like your Audi or BMW where you have 40-odd kilometers to go....it meant you needed to find a station within 10-to-15 kilometers. 

9.  The suspension was on a scale of one-to-ten......a '3' at best.  Three hours in the car left your back in crappy condition.

10.  Handling in snow?  I reached a point, with snow-tires, of adding about 150 pounds of sand (distributed with 100 pounds in the rear and 50 pounds on the passenger seat).

11.  The only super-positive I ever saw with the car was parking.  You could park two of these cars in a normal parking spot.

12.  Trying to sell it at the end?  I probably had a dozen American military folks look it over and just say no.  I discounted it about a 1,000 Euro less than value....to get rid of it.

13.  Changing the stupid headlights?  As the first one burned out.....the mechanic said the whole front assembly had to be removed (full hour of work), so the one bulb change....ran about 60 Euro just for the mechanic to reach the bulb area.  On the second time...I found some 8-year old kid in the neighborhood with tiny hands and paid the kid 5 Euro to reach in and swap the bulb.

14.  All this chatter about 40 mpg?  Well....if you drove it in a very conservative or low-power situation....yeah, you got that.  I doubt that I ever got better than 30 mpg.  

15.  A 'death-wish'?  You know....on the autobahn...after about six months of driving it.....I had this bad feeling about surviving an accident.  This lingered all the way to the bitter end of ownership.

16.  The space in the back of the car?  It was enough room for a medium-sized dog or two cases of beer.  The lack of a spare tire?  It bothered me a good bit.

I would say at the twelfth month of ownership....I hated the car with passion.  Somehow, I lingered on.  

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