Monday, September 12, 2016

If I Were in Charge of the German Integration Program

It's safe to say.....it'll never happen....because I'm the American in the mix and most Germans would say as such.....it can only be run by a German.  But here's how I would run the program.

1.  "Boot-Camp" would start the day after the initial visa was granted.  You'd pack up and go to one of three different boot-camps around Germany for a hundred-day orientation deal....federally-paid....none of this state by state budget business.  Anyone walking out of boot-camp or not participating....gets the initial visa scrapped and sent back home.

2.  Minute one of boot-camp.  You get an hour-long video, in your home-language, which describes what exactly you should expect.  Right up front.....the taxation rate is explained, and what a typical normal salary might be in ten different fields.  The mandatory nature of healthcare and what costs.....would be explained.  The cost of gas, electricity, and water gets explained.  Grocery pricing would be explained so that they know what they have to clear to survive.  The German welfare program (Hartz IV) would be explained in three simple minutes and driven home on the fact that if you rely upon it.....you are at the lowest level of survival in Germany.  Then I'd take about German cops and the authority they have.  I'd lay out the fact that most German families have both spouses working at a minimum of part-time, in order to have the "extras" in life.  Finally, I'd be painfully obvious about affordable housing in major urban areas....that just wanting to live in Frankfurt doesn't mean you will find a house, and you might encounter serious issues in waiting to find such a house.  At the end of that video.....I'd bring in someone who speaks their language and ask if they have questions.  If people are overly shocked and can't grasp how people can make it or afford it.....then maybe there should be some more questions asked before moving onto the next phase.

3.  After day one, I'd separate the kids off into an intensive eight-hour a day language class, and send the parents to a basic four-hour a day intensive language class for the majority of the hundred days, with afternoons broken down into a separate minor modules.  All language training would be for this hundred day period.....a federally-paid program.  At the end of a hundred days....everyone ought to be speaking good basic German.

4.  If you have a drivers license from the home-country, then the federal office would offer a 30-hour orientation class, and six forty-five minute driving sessions to get the individual up to standards.  If the guy doesn't have a license.....then TOUGH luck and they do this after boot-camp.....at the cost of the individual themselves.  Fake license encountered after you enter the program?  Make the guy pay a fine of 300 Euro within two years.

5.  Around day ten, swimming lessons would be mandated for kids between six and fifteen.  Anyone over 15, it'd be an optional deal.  No cost.

6.  At least three fests or German-style parties would be created in the camp atmosphere and one-hour participation required for each individual for each fest.  

7.  TV's in the camp would only have German networks offered.

8. Ten kilometer volksmarches would be mandatory for family members who are healthy enough....at least one every thirty days.

9.  At least one hundred hours of economic mandated.....to include how to shop for cars, apartments, insurance, and furniture.  Fifty hours of maturity and proper behavior training would be mandatory for anyone over the age of twelve.  For all men over the after of fifteen.....at least forty hours of respect training toward women.  Anyone who wants to 'fake' their through or just not participate.....send them back to the original starting point and make them start the whole process over again.

10.  Establish discussion groups on a dozen occasions of the hundred days where religious freedom is discussed and respect for human life.  If someone shows they can't handle either.....reverse them back to day one and recommend them to be returned to the home-country.

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