Second, when you travel on these cheapo bus tours, and Huns pulls up with the 3-star bus to carry you and your forty buddies on a day-trip to Mannheim....don't expect much of the bus toilet. If it flushes....you should be happy enough. If it's big enough for you to actually lower your pants without knocking your head against the door....that's a great feature. If Huns actually left some nice smelling soap there, that's a plus.
Third, ADAC (your friendly car club) has a rating system for autobahn rest stops and toilets. Naturally, you'd laugh when this is mentioned but after you've been to twenty of these....you realize that there are some one-star autobahn toilets where it's fairly nasty and you should avoid these. So joining ADAC and reading up on these statistics might be helpful.
Fourth, when you buy a house in Germany....the first thing after you get settled in....is to get a relationship with a local plumber you can trust. Some Germans will stick with their plumber for forty years....just to ensure he comes over in an emergency when you desperately need his help in the toilet.
Fifth, if you've gotten use to US-made soft toilet paper....no matter how far you look over your local German shop....you will never find the same quality stuff. So either accept the number two quality or start looking for an American who has access to the military commissary system on US bases.
Sixth, German women are awful particular about what smell you leave in their toilet. If you visit a neighbor and have to unload a foul smell in their toilet....it's best to spray as much as you can....open the windows....and just hope her anger isn't raging. You may never be invited back. It's best to leave early and do your business in your own toilet.
Seventh, typically your friendly bar toilet in your village pub is cleaned once a week and kept in good condition. One out of every three toilets in a pub are likely unheated. In small restaurants....it's just as bad. It's best to do your business and leave as quickly as possible.
Eighth, when you see a lady sitting at the entrance of the hall for autobahn or county fair bathrooms....she's the cleaning lady. You will notice a plate in front of her with change. It's the custom that you toss in 50 cents minimum. She is ensuring some sanitary customs are maintained. Don't sit there and think this is a free deal.
Ninth, when you've been at a fest of some type and the vast number of folks are fairly drunk and you notice dozens of men just walking outside and leaning against some building or wall to urinate....no, it's not the custom or accepted by the locals. The cops will apprehend you for some charge, if they feel like it.
Tenth, German guys have no issue in just pulling over by the side of the road and relieving themselves right there. Folks will drive by and just notice....saying nothing. Everyone hates this image, but half of the German male population readily accepts this as OK.
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