I will occasionally touch on German finance news amongst the various German topics that blog on. Today, I'll give you an small introduction to the DAX....the German version of the Dow Jones index on Wall Street.
The DAX is made up of the thirty largest companies that trade on the open market in Germany. Some examples are: RWE, Siemens, Deutsche Post, Deutsche Telekom, Bayer, and BASF. The daily DAX price is an index of where those thirty companies are going.
Do companies fall off the DAX (like the Dow Jones)? Yes, occasionally, the finance guys sit down and decide that some company is just not up to their old standards, and they get replaced.
Where is German Wall Street? In the heart of Frankfurt. It is regarded as the tenth largest stock exchange in the world.
How do most Germans view the DAX? This is a bit more difficult to figure out. From my own humble opinion, the majority of Germans don't have much of a knowledge over the DAX or buying stocks. In a village of 1,000 residents....there might be thirty people who either play the stock market themselves or have a broker or investment handler who does it for them.
What you tend to find is that Germans have two obstacles in getting themselves to an investment point. Most consider anything in the investment arena....to be a risk that they really don't want to take. It's better....in their mind....to take their cash to the bank and simply accept a two-percent CD option, than invest it into Mercedes or Audi or BASF.
The second problem is simply the amount of knowledge that you need to make stock purchases happen. There's not that many avenues for a typical German to sit down and get a certain amount of knowledge, play with stocks in various scenarios, and then exercise their knowledge in the real world. Without these outlets, no one ventures out of the safe area they've built.
As for odd terms that you might occasionally hear from the German news? XETRA is the system that makes the trades on the Frankfurt floor. You execute via XETRA, and stocks move from person to person.
The MDAX? Well....it's fifty large German companies that have nothing much to do with technology....like banks, books and clothing. The finance news folks will talk about how the MDAX is doing each day at the conclusion of the business cycle.
The SDAX? It's a list of fifty medium and small companies. Air Berlin, Hornbach (the hardware store), and SIXT (the car rental folks) are on this listing.
The TecDAX is a listing of thirty German companies that deal with technology only. Software AG and SolarWorld make up this listing.
The OkoDAX? It's one that you don't see much on the finance news and rarely discussed. It's the renewable energy group of roughly ten players. It is probably the least known of the DAX operations, and some might argue that it's among the least traded as well.
The HDAX? It's all of the members from the various DAX groups...combined.
The CDAX? Every single stock sold on the German DAX market falls into this bucket.
How many companies are listed on the DAX? Between 1300 and 1400 German companies. The majority....are likely companies that you've never heard of....even if you were a German.
Where do you get your typical German news? The obvious point is Channel One's nightly news...between 0812 and 0815, there will be a sixty-second clip on winners, losers, and notes for the day. After that, you have the N-TV coverage from another commercially run network.
From the printed media....most papers will have some minor business news listed....but if you wanted fresh and broad news....then there's the Handelsblatt (printed daily). They run around 140k copies a day and if you were into trading stock in Germany....you'd typically read this daily.
As an American, you tend to find large segments of American society who have an interest in stock trading but simply lack the knowledge. Some will sit down and spend a year reading various publications and quietly pull out $5k to play the field and learn from mistakes. Germans are not the type to take those kind of risks. They want something better than a fifty-fifty shot on their hard earned money. If I had to pick one of the top ten differences between the two cultures....this risk thing does makes it into the top ten.
The curious thing? A couple of years ago....my son was in the last year of German school, and the math teacher had an extra class that he threw into the mix....playing the stock market. This was a small school and mostly for average kids. The county education folks threw up this stock challenge. As a group, you went out and picked your stocks, and at the close of the school year....they'd add up the profits. Typically, the gymnasium kids (the smarter schools) should have prevailed.
In this case....my son's school group actually did the best of the entire region. You could probably sit down with my son and the other members of his group today....mention stocks....and each kid could explain how you buy and sell stocks. Would they do it with their precious income of today? No. They just don't like that risk thing.
So if you are in the company of Germans, and stocks come up as a topic....don't be shocked that they are shocked over your playing the market. They might ask questions and wonder how you actually do it.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
The 300,000
There's an odd statistic that appeared in German news this week. The authorities are still busy with their central government database which lists all gun owners. Call it final touches or whatever....but they finally have a computerized database which matches up serials of guns and the owners.
So the statistic is this.....there are around 300,000 gun owners who noted themselves as "hunters", while the bulk of gun-ownership fell to "sports-enthusiasts" who were around 1.1 million total.
Why the difference?
To be a hunter in Germany....it's almost like getting an associate's degree. By the time you do all the classes and take the practice test, and get to an end-point, you really have to know alot about hunting and animals.
You don't just pop up on a Monday.....say you'd like to go out and buy a gun, get a license by Friday, and hunt this weekend. That just won't happen in Germany.
So you go and register with a local hunting club in your town or village. You start taking these nightly or weekend classes, and you advance to a point where you take a pretty hefty test. You take an entire day of first aide training along the way. You learn various guns, and clean them as part of the class.
At the end of this effort....you pass the exam and hand the certificate over to the local cops who register you in the system. Now, you can buy your weapon, and be recognized far and wide in the region as a hunter.
Your mental status? Oh, that was noted early on in the process as your local doctor signed a note attesting you are physically and mentally up to standards. Nuts don't get approval or hunt in Germany.
From a country of eighty million people....there are only 300k people (mostly men, but there's some women sprinkled into the group) who officially hunt. It would have been interesting to ask a age count or more in-depth numbers off the database. I'm guessing that someone will eventually do that.
So when you venture out into the German countryside, and note two guys walking off into the woods with shotguns....you can note that they are two of the 300k. And if you stopped to ask forty questions on hunting....you might be surprised at the amount of knowledge that both have. They aren't pretenders....they are the real thing.
So the statistic is this.....there are around 300,000 gun owners who noted themselves as "hunters", while the bulk of gun-ownership fell to "sports-enthusiasts" who were around 1.1 million total.
Why the difference?
To be a hunter in Germany....it's almost like getting an associate's degree. By the time you do all the classes and take the practice test, and get to an end-point, you really have to know alot about hunting and animals.
You don't just pop up on a Monday.....say you'd like to go out and buy a gun, get a license by Friday, and hunt this weekend. That just won't happen in Germany.
So you go and register with a local hunting club in your town or village. You start taking these nightly or weekend classes, and you advance to a point where you take a pretty hefty test. You take an entire day of first aide training along the way. You learn various guns, and clean them as part of the class.
At the end of this effort....you pass the exam and hand the certificate over to the local cops who register you in the system. Now, you can buy your weapon, and be recognized far and wide in the region as a hunter.
Your mental status? Oh, that was noted early on in the process as your local doctor signed a note attesting you are physically and mentally up to standards. Nuts don't get approval or hunt in Germany.
From a country of eighty million people....there are only 300k people (mostly men, but there's some women sprinkled into the group) who officially hunt. It would have been interesting to ask a age count or more in-depth numbers off the database. I'm guessing that someone will eventually do that.
So when you venture out into the German countryside, and note two guys walking off into the woods with shotguns....you can note that they are two of the 300k. And if you stopped to ask forty questions on hunting....you might be surprised at the amount of knowledge that both have. They aren't pretenders....they are the real thing.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
German Bus Tours
Germans are legendary at creating a bus tour for just about any destination, and in some cases...inventing a destination out of thin air that most folks haven't heard about.
Naturally, these bus tours all run for 199 Euro, 299 Euro, or 399 Euro. Don't ask why, but typically....it's done like this.
What should you expect? Well....you do get picked up in your community...but it's typically by a 8-passenger van that picks you up and runs you forty kilometers over to a major community, where the bus is sitting. These buses are typically filled to the max....they never run with half a bus-load.
As you get going.....you don't usually stop except for fuel. So the bathroom on the bus is a frequently used place. You then discover that folks can actually make a bus toilet smaller than a airplane toilet....shockingly enough. And once you unload a big one in that bus toilet, there's no real ventilation So for hours and hours....ladies come out of the bus toilet complaining about the terrible smell left by men.
So you finally get to the destination and Henz the bus driver just opens the door and tells you to file into the hotel to get keys. The hotel? Well...half the time....it might be a small decent place worth the money. The other half? A two-star hotel that you'd rather not stay in.
The rest of the tour? Mostly....the bus driver drives up to some point, and dumps everyone off for two hours....telling you to come back exactly at that time. If you come five minutes late....he's gone, and you are screwed.
After an entire weekend, it's always debatable if the trip was worth 199 Euro or 299 Euro.
The best bus trip I ever had via the German system....we stayed at some Swiss mountain village....in a fairly decent family hotel, and had a 3-star meal.
The worst bus trip I ever had via the German system....I was carried off to East Berlin (where the Soviets used to hang out), staying on the 10th floor of a hotel that the elevator only went to the 8th floor, and there was this massive crack down the side of my wall. Outside the hotel were a bunch of Ho Chi Men village guys from Vietnam....selling tax-free smokes and booze. Nothing on the trip ever worked according to plan.
So I advise you do always do some research and find people who have done the trip before....asking questions. Don't have high expectations. And don't think you are getting a four-star deal out of a two-star package.
Just some humble advice from an American who has done the bus deals.
Naturally, these bus tours all run for 199 Euro, 299 Euro, or 399 Euro. Don't ask why, but typically....it's done like this.
What should you expect? Well....you do get picked up in your community...but it's typically by a 8-passenger van that picks you up and runs you forty kilometers over to a major community, where the bus is sitting. These buses are typically filled to the max....they never run with half a bus-load.
As you get going.....you don't usually stop except for fuel. So the bathroom on the bus is a frequently used place. You then discover that folks can actually make a bus toilet smaller than a airplane toilet....shockingly enough. And once you unload a big one in that bus toilet, there's no real ventilation So for hours and hours....ladies come out of the bus toilet complaining about the terrible smell left by men.
So you finally get to the destination and Henz the bus driver just opens the door and tells you to file into the hotel to get keys. The hotel? Well...half the time....it might be a small decent place worth the money. The other half? A two-star hotel that you'd rather not stay in.
The rest of the tour? Mostly....the bus driver drives up to some point, and dumps everyone off for two hours....telling you to come back exactly at that time. If you come five minutes late....he's gone, and you are screwed.
After an entire weekend, it's always debatable if the trip was worth 199 Euro or 299 Euro.
The best bus trip I ever had via the German system....we stayed at some Swiss mountain village....in a fairly decent family hotel, and had a 3-star meal.
The worst bus trip I ever had via the German system....I was carried off to East Berlin (where the Soviets used to hang out), staying on the 10th floor of a hotel that the elevator only went to the 8th floor, and there was this massive crack down the side of my wall. Outside the hotel were a bunch of Ho Chi Men village guys from Vietnam....selling tax-free smokes and booze. Nothing on the trip ever worked according to plan.
So I advise you do always do some research and find people who have done the trip before....asking questions. Don't have high expectations. And don't think you are getting a four-star deal out of a two-star package.
Just some humble advice from an American who has done the bus deals.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
My Favorite Ten Odd Things on Germany
Remember....I only write from an American prospective on Germany, and it's not for the benefit of Germans or German society that I make my observations.
1. Sunday and trucks. It's an odd feeling to drive around Germany on a typical Sunday, and there's rarely not a single truck to be seen. German law dictates on Saturday evening....that truckers come to a halt, until late Sunday evening. So the only trucks you see anywhere.....are usually milk trucks or a special waiver truck. Occasionally....some idiot from another country will drive into Germany and suddenly find the cops on his case....with a fine....for Sunday truck driving.
If you ever drive around in July or August.....on a Saturday....you would swear that it's just one chaotic traffic problem. But the next day....suddenly traffic clears up for the most part, and you start to wonder where the trucks went and hid out.
2. Upon arrival in Germany and sipping a German beer.....you come to realize that there is a hundred German beers which have a unique taste. I admit some aren't that great (Bitburger, for example). An American starts to compare and find that beer can actually be made better (and stronger). Then you start find Dutch and Danish beers that join the pack.
3. The lack of food poisoning. In the twenty-odd years associated with German living....I've only known two or three cases of food poisoning....all with the same German restaurant (I won't mention their name, but it's a Mexican place near Ramstein). Otherwise, you just never find a place where you might get sick off their food. You have to remember....Americans eat out alot, and in Germany....I've probably stopped at well over 300 restaurants in my life, and other than some fairly greasy food here and there....most places were pretty decent places that I'd go back too again.
4. The traffic circles do work. I admit....it might have taken a hundred approaches for me to finally get the hang of the traffic circle....but after a while, they are a fine idea. I admit, it might take decades to introduce these in some US states and get acceptance. But generally, they fit right into an American's dream of the "Caifornia-stop".
5. This dog thing in restaurants. It does still bother me when I stop into a place of fine food, and there's some German individual with their dog there next to the table. I probably haven't gotten to a point of accepting that practice yet, and might never overcome my reluctance on standard German practice.
6. The standard German breakfast. Yeah, the common hearty breakfast that I became used to....as an American....kinda came to an end. So you get used to this idea of a brotchen or two....jelly or honey....a small cup of weak orange juice, maybe a piece of cheese and a slice of ham (tiny and thin), and a cup of coffee as your morning breakfast. And yes, you later have another coffee and a sweet role or such in mid-morning. It's a long and hard step down for an American to get used to such a start each day.
7. Cellphone reception. Yes, it is crisp and clear....unlike most American metropolitan areas. Perhaps there are more antennas and a better network system in place. After a while, you just accept it. Then you return to the US and feel like you are talking on walkie-talkies.
8. Soccer fans go to the same extreme as NFL fans. It's best not to disturb a German guy on a Saturday or Sunday evening during a critical game. He's sitting quietly in his living....absorbed with key fielding and kicking, and really doesn't want any distractions from someone who doesn't understand the significant matter of soccer.
9. The VAT business. After a while, you begin to understand that every price you see....is with tax already added. Everything, from soup to laptops....are priced with VAT. I admit, it's a fairly smart idea, but then you start thinking about this 19-percent tax and getting a bit disgusted over the amount of taxation involved with each purchase. And you still pay a full income tax on top of that.
10. Car accidents on the autobahn are pretty drastic. In a typical year, you will come across around forty accidents (my own humble average during a year). On regular streets and roads....most are survivable and you see people just complaining over their cellphone to the cops or insurance folks about this "mess". The accidents on the autobahn? They always end up pretty severe and folks get taken off to the hospital or morgue. After a while, you begin to notice that folks in Volvos, Mercedes, and Audi's all tend to be just lightly injured....due to all of the safety mechanisms. Then you notice that smaller cars....like the Smart....usually are totally crushed up and not much left to indicate that it was a Smart to start with. Then after a couple of years of observing the accidents....for some reason....you start to drive at a lesser speed (my own experience) for the most part. Maybe it helps...maybe not....but you'd like some statistical advantage when in a car accident.
1. Sunday and trucks. It's an odd feeling to drive around Germany on a typical Sunday, and there's rarely not a single truck to be seen. German law dictates on Saturday evening....that truckers come to a halt, until late Sunday evening. So the only trucks you see anywhere.....are usually milk trucks or a special waiver truck. Occasionally....some idiot from another country will drive into Germany and suddenly find the cops on his case....with a fine....for Sunday truck driving.
If you ever drive around in July or August.....on a Saturday....you would swear that it's just one chaotic traffic problem. But the next day....suddenly traffic clears up for the most part, and you start to wonder where the trucks went and hid out.
2. Upon arrival in Germany and sipping a German beer.....you come to realize that there is a hundred German beers which have a unique taste. I admit some aren't that great (Bitburger, for example). An American starts to compare and find that beer can actually be made better (and stronger). Then you start find Dutch and Danish beers that join the pack.
3. The lack of food poisoning. In the twenty-odd years associated with German living....I've only known two or three cases of food poisoning....all with the same German restaurant (I won't mention their name, but it's a Mexican place near Ramstein). Otherwise, you just never find a place where you might get sick off their food. You have to remember....Americans eat out alot, and in Germany....I've probably stopped at well over 300 restaurants in my life, and other than some fairly greasy food here and there....most places were pretty decent places that I'd go back too again.
4. The traffic circles do work. I admit....it might have taken a hundred approaches for me to finally get the hang of the traffic circle....but after a while, they are a fine idea. I admit, it might take decades to introduce these in some US states and get acceptance. But generally, they fit right into an American's dream of the "Caifornia-stop".
5. This dog thing in restaurants. It does still bother me when I stop into a place of fine food, and there's some German individual with their dog there next to the table. I probably haven't gotten to a point of accepting that practice yet, and might never overcome my reluctance on standard German practice.
6. The standard German breakfast. Yeah, the common hearty breakfast that I became used to....as an American....kinda came to an end. So you get used to this idea of a brotchen or two....jelly or honey....a small cup of weak orange juice, maybe a piece of cheese and a slice of ham (tiny and thin), and a cup of coffee as your morning breakfast. And yes, you later have another coffee and a sweet role or such in mid-morning. It's a long and hard step down for an American to get used to such a start each day.
7. Cellphone reception. Yes, it is crisp and clear....unlike most American metropolitan areas. Perhaps there are more antennas and a better network system in place. After a while, you just accept it. Then you return to the US and feel like you are talking on walkie-talkies.
8. Soccer fans go to the same extreme as NFL fans. It's best not to disturb a German guy on a Saturday or Sunday evening during a critical game. He's sitting quietly in his living....absorbed with key fielding and kicking, and really doesn't want any distractions from someone who doesn't understand the significant matter of soccer.
9. The VAT business. After a while, you begin to understand that every price you see....is with tax already added. Everything, from soup to laptops....are priced with VAT. I admit, it's a fairly smart idea, but then you start thinking about this 19-percent tax and getting a bit disgusted over the amount of taxation involved with each purchase. And you still pay a full income tax on top of that.
10. Car accidents on the autobahn are pretty drastic. In a typical year, you will come across around forty accidents (my own humble average during a year). On regular streets and roads....most are survivable and you see people just complaining over their cellphone to the cops or insurance folks about this "mess". The accidents on the autobahn? They always end up pretty severe and folks get taken off to the hospital or morgue. After a while, you begin to notice that folks in Volvos, Mercedes, and Audi's all tend to be just lightly injured....due to all of the safety mechanisms. Then you notice that smaller cars....like the Smart....usually are totally crushed up and not much left to indicate that it was a Smart to start with. Then after a couple of years of observing the accidents....for some reason....you start to drive at a lesser speed (my own experience) for the most part. Maybe it helps...maybe not....but you'd like some statistical advantage when in a car accident.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Taxi Use in Germany
This is an odd topic to pick up as an American in Germany. I've ridden in taxis from around a dozen countries. Some were fairly unsafe (Turkey and Panama, for example.....with holes in the floor of the car noted). When you come around to German taxis.....you become a bit shocked.
First, you will never find a unclean or untidy German taxi. It simply doesn't exist
Second, you just want find any German taxi driver who uses a GPS. You mention any oddball street? The guy might call the desk to ask for a reference point, but he generally doesn't have a problem in finding the address.
Third, fair and honest are a trademark of German taxi operators. I don't know of a single case ever.....where someone had a dishonest situation with a German driver.
Fourth, as you come to figure out after a while.....almost half of taxis you come across in Germany....are Mercedes. My suspicion.....humble thinking of course.....is that they are less of a maintenance problem than the other brands.
Fifth, day or night.....you can show up at any airport in Germany, and there's a taxi sitting there. The same is true for all major train stations.
Sixth, English-speaking? Well....in my experience....around twenty-five percent of the drivers speak some English and you can get your address across easily.
Seventh, and final.....if you were stupid enough to have a few drinks and not in a condition to drive.....that cellphone and local taxi number is a life-saver. Course, don't be stupid enough to throw up in the backseat of the taxi......the drivers get a bit testy over an event like that.
I should add.....after ten kilometers.....this taxi usage gets to be a bit expensive. And if you were going to use them for a fifty kilometer ride.....you'd best make sure you've got plenty of cash on you.
First, you will never find a unclean or untidy German taxi. It simply doesn't exist
Second, you just want find any German taxi driver who uses a GPS. You mention any oddball street? The guy might call the desk to ask for a reference point, but he generally doesn't have a problem in finding the address.
Third, fair and honest are a trademark of German taxi operators. I don't know of a single case ever.....where someone had a dishonest situation with a German driver.
Fourth, as you come to figure out after a while.....almost half of taxis you come across in Germany....are Mercedes. My suspicion.....humble thinking of course.....is that they are less of a maintenance problem than the other brands.
Fifth, day or night.....you can show up at any airport in Germany, and there's a taxi sitting there. The same is true for all major train stations.
Sixth, English-speaking? Well....in my experience....around twenty-five percent of the drivers speak some English and you can get your address across easily.
Seventh, and final.....if you were stupid enough to have a few drinks and not in a condition to drive.....that cellphone and local taxi number is a life-saver. Course, don't be stupid enough to throw up in the backseat of the taxi......the drivers get a bit testy over an event like that.
I should add.....after ten kilometers.....this taxi usage gets to be a bit expensive. And if you were going to use them for a fifty kilometer ride.....you'd best make sure you've got plenty of cash on you.
Friday, December 14, 2012
A Hotel Story
This is a story to keep in mind during these holiday parties you might attend in Germany.
Years ago, as a contractor....we had a party at a local German castle-turned-into-a-hotel. They had several floors and it was well built.
My division chief was a gal who was married, and she felt this would be a special night....so she and the husband rented a room in the castle.
As evening advanced and the party started to wind down.....she told the husband that she was leaving for the room and he ought to be there in twenty minutes.
About halfway up the stairs ...up around the third floor, on her way to the fourth floor....she needed to use a toilet badly, and stopped in that hallway for a minute at the toilet next to the door. One of the hotel folks came by and locked the toilet door, and the hallway door because this wasn't going to be rented out that night. Naturally, they didn't check to see if anyone was in the toilet.
The husband advanced onto the room....finding no wife. The wife was yelling and screaming in the toilet a floor below but no one could hear her.
The heat was turned off for the third floor....so the temperature started to decrease.
The husband went to the management after an hour....worried over the wife. She wasn't to be found. They checked the parking lot, and various locations. I'm guessing they suggested that maybe she might with another guy (a natural Germany suspicion of things).
My boss sat there as the temp got down into the forties in the toilet, until around 6AM....when they unlocked the door.
She was peeved. The hotel guys were sorry. And the husband could never explain why he didn't make enough of an effort.
So bear all of this in mind for this holiday season....as you might attend an odd party or two.
Years ago, as a contractor....we had a party at a local German castle-turned-into-a-hotel. They had several floors and it was well built.
My division chief was a gal who was married, and she felt this would be a special night....so she and the husband rented a room in the castle.
As evening advanced and the party started to wind down.....she told the husband that she was leaving for the room and he ought to be there in twenty minutes.
About halfway up the stairs ...up around the third floor, on her way to the fourth floor....she needed to use a toilet badly, and stopped in that hallway for a minute at the toilet next to the door. One of the hotel folks came by and locked the toilet door, and the hallway door because this wasn't going to be rented out that night. Naturally, they didn't check to see if anyone was in the toilet.
The husband advanced onto the room....finding no wife. The wife was yelling and screaming in the toilet a floor below but no one could hear her.
The heat was turned off for the third floor....so the temperature started to decrease.
The husband went to the management after an hour....worried over the wife. She wasn't to be found. They checked the parking lot, and various locations. I'm guessing they suggested that maybe she might with another guy (a natural Germany suspicion of things).
My boss sat there as the temp got down into the forties in the toilet, until around 6AM....when they unlocked the door.
She was peeved. The hotel guys were sorry. And the husband could never explain why he didn't make enough of an effort.
So bear all of this in mind for this holiday season....as you might attend an odd party or two.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
A Moment of My Time
This is a blog written by an American....detailing perceptions that some Americans get....after a while of viewing German TV and German commentary. Basically, Germans won't naturally come up to your face and tell you that they hate you. They kind of draw things out in a polite sense....that you (the United States, as if you are that actual figure)....have screwed up.
Its never anything personal....but simply a thing that bothers them about America and certain behaviors of America.
Naturally, you are a bit shocked, but then you realize...being an American....you generally have some dislike tendencies yourself....like you are from the south and have a dislike of anything from California, or you grew up in New York and make jokes over folks from Mississippi. So maybe those Germans are just acting that way.
But they want to correct you on this. Its not like hating California or Californians. Nope....just not like that at all.
First, you must realize, that you Americans are gluttons. You waste so much. You drive 8-cylinder cars which are totally unnecessary. You run pick-ups around getting barely 15 miles per gallon. You are totally wasteful.
You have houses of 3,000 square feet and you cool it with a massive air conditioner. You have a freezer in the kitchen and a freezer in the garage, plus a second fridge in the basement where the guy of the house keep his cold beer. You have a front yard that is a full acre in size, which is totally unnecessary.
You have a car for your sixteen year old daughter or son, which is totally unnecessary.
You even buy 150 percent of the food necessary to survive. Then they start to pile on the wood and let you know the other bad things about Americans.
Patriotism is a bad evil thing....and you Americans are the worst at this. Your flag business, your national pride, your holidays to honor the military dead....make patriotism into a terrible thing. You allow some idiot country and western singer to write up a song and sing it proudly about "kicking butt" whenever necessary. These are all bad things.
They start to talk about the poor Americans and no health care....that you ought to redistribute your wealth from the rich to the poor. You ought to take care of everyone, from the employed to the unemployed. You ought to give away free health care. You have no compassion for your fellow citizens.
Eventually, they will come around to the death penalty, prisons and guns. They'd like to let you know that the death penalty is very uncivilized and totally the fault of having no real distribution of wealth to the poor in your country. Those people in the prisons.....half of them should not be there.
As for guns....its totally wrong for so many weapons to be in the hands of the public. There should be control....a process to be trained on weapons and a process to sell weapons and a process to secure weapons in a safe within your house. Americans are killing themselves with so many weapons.
They will toss in religious problems at some point. Americans are perverted in their nature of religion, with televised religion 24-hours a day. Religion controls so many of the laws and often harms the society at hand.
You Americans create a moral wave that hinders society and makes life miserable.
Finally....for general measure.....they will get around to Bush, Iraq, Afghanistan, New Orleans, and Hurricane Katrina.
At the conclusion of their hot-winded episode....they pause. They want you to respond. They want debate. They want you to attempt a feeble comeback so they can blast you a second time. They'd like to walk home that day and feel good that they proved their point yet again.
So you allow a long pause. Looking the guy in the eye....you make a brief but pointed statement.
We are sorry for taking in millions upon millions of people who left their homelands in search of a better life.
We are sorry for having a form of government that allowed them in the front door and allowed them to make their lives twice as good as they had in the old country.
We are truly sorry that their children grew up in such a society and became easily accepted as one of the locals.
We are sorry that that we didn't make language requirements to force these people to all speak one common language upon arrival.
We are sorry for maintaining a military capability that provide rescue relief to the entire globe and move a million tons of cargo per week if necessary for a country in distress.
We are sorry that folks in New Orleans wouldn't evacuate their homes for shelters far from the affected area.
We are sorry that we make too much money and squander on what things we don't deserve.
We are sorry for buying your Audis, your BMWs, and your Mercedes. We thought they looked pretty neat....though very expensive....but since you had some for sale...what the heck!
We are mostly sorry for being a bit patriotic and over-zealous.
We are sorry for being the crowd that can't grasp the word "impossible".
We are sorry for creating legends like Babe Ruth, Steve Jobs, Microsoft, Vince Lombardi, and Larry Bird.
We are sorry for waving flags...especially over the Normandy Beach on the 6th of June 1944. We are also sorry for waving flags over Nazi Germany in 1945.
We are sorry about the prisons that house criminals....we'd like to let our criminals roam free like they do in Germany. We'd like to apologize for our guns that we keep in the basement or the hallway closet. We had to fight off some British rowdies in the 1700s and just haven't gotten over that little episode where no military could cover our butt.
We are sorry for feeding 100 million outside of the US. We are sorry for growing way too much corn, wheat and soy beans. We are sorry for using all that fuel to grow all those crops. We are sorry for producing way too much cattle that end up on tables in Europe, Japan and Asia. We are sorry for having the transportation sector that can move a massive amount of cargo each week.
We are sorry for alot of things. We are a pitiful lot.
We have no Roman culture, no French works of art, no real German gourmet cooks, no fancy British castles, and no great Shakespeare-like writers. We don't have Irish pubs where everyone sits around and talks constantly day in and day out of their sad woes and sorrows. In fact....we don't even have folks sitting around thinking of what terrible folks Americans are.
We'd like to have a society like that in America...that could daily think and dream of various ways to talk down America....but we're a bit busy, and we really don't have time to squander. We'll put your criticism on our list of things to fix...but its likely to be around the second five hundred things we gotta fix.
So here is the final note....as you've tossed all this choice criticism onto us. We are probably the only country around where folks would invite you back to our front porch....after you cut loose on your criticism. We are a bit foolish and naive. We probably aren't as charming or witty as you. Maybe you'd eventually come to ask why anyone would be nice to invite such criticism and keep allowing such friends and guests to continually come back.
Its never anything personal....but simply a thing that bothers them about America and certain behaviors of America.
Naturally, you are a bit shocked, but then you realize...being an American....you generally have some dislike tendencies yourself....like you are from the south and have a dislike of anything from California, or you grew up in New York and make jokes over folks from Mississippi. So maybe those Germans are just acting that way.
But they want to correct you on this. Its not like hating California or Californians. Nope....just not like that at all.
First, you must realize, that you Americans are gluttons. You waste so much. You drive 8-cylinder cars which are totally unnecessary. You run pick-ups around getting barely 15 miles per gallon. You are totally wasteful.
You have houses of 3,000 square feet and you cool it with a massive air conditioner. You have a freezer in the kitchen and a freezer in the garage, plus a second fridge in the basement where the guy of the house keep his cold beer. You have a front yard that is a full acre in size, which is totally unnecessary.
You have a car for your sixteen year old daughter or son, which is totally unnecessary.
You even buy 150 percent of the food necessary to survive. Then they start to pile on the wood and let you know the other bad things about Americans.
Patriotism is a bad evil thing....and you Americans are the worst at this. Your flag business, your national pride, your holidays to honor the military dead....make patriotism into a terrible thing. You allow some idiot country and western singer to write up a song and sing it proudly about "kicking butt" whenever necessary. These are all bad things.
They start to talk about the poor Americans and no health care....that you ought to redistribute your wealth from the rich to the poor. You ought to take care of everyone, from the employed to the unemployed. You ought to give away free health care. You have no compassion for your fellow citizens.
Eventually, they will come around to the death penalty, prisons and guns. They'd like to let you know that the death penalty is very uncivilized and totally the fault of having no real distribution of wealth to the poor in your country. Those people in the prisons.....half of them should not be there.
As for guns....its totally wrong for so many weapons to be in the hands of the public. There should be control....a process to be trained on weapons and a process to sell weapons and a process to secure weapons in a safe within your house. Americans are killing themselves with so many weapons.
They will toss in religious problems at some point. Americans are perverted in their nature of religion, with televised religion 24-hours a day. Religion controls so many of the laws and often harms the society at hand.
You Americans create a moral wave that hinders society and makes life miserable.
Finally....for general measure.....they will get around to Bush, Iraq, Afghanistan, New Orleans, and Hurricane Katrina.
At the conclusion of their hot-winded episode....they pause. They want you to respond. They want debate. They want you to attempt a feeble comeback so they can blast you a second time. They'd like to walk home that day and feel good that they proved their point yet again.
So you allow a long pause. Looking the guy in the eye....you make a brief but pointed statement.
We are sorry for taking in millions upon millions of people who left their homelands in search of a better life.
We are sorry for having a form of government that allowed them in the front door and allowed them to make their lives twice as good as they had in the old country.
We are truly sorry that their children grew up in such a society and became easily accepted as one of the locals.
We are sorry that that we didn't make language requirements to force these people to all speak one common language upon arrival.
We are sorry for maintaining a military capability that provide rescue relief to the entire globe and move a million tons of cargo per week if necessary for a country in distress.
We are sorry that folks in New Orleans wouldn't evacuate their homes for shelters far from the affected area.
We are sorry that we make too much money and squander on what things we don't deserve.
We are sorry for buying your Audis, your BMWs, and your Mercedes. We thought they looked pretty neat....though very expensive....but since you had some for sale...what the heck!
We are mostly sorry for being a bit patriotic and over-zealous.
We are sorry for being the crowd that can't grasp the word "impossible".
We are sorry for creating legends like Babe Ruth, Steve Jobs, Microsoft, Vince Lombardi, and Larry Bird.
We are sorry for waving flags...especially over the Normandy Beach on the 6th of June 1944. We are also sorry for waving flags over Nazi Germany in 1945.
We are sorry about the prisons that house criminals....we'd like to let our criminals roam free like they do in Germany. We'd like to apologize for our guns that we keep in the basement or the hallway closet. We had to fight off some British rowdies in the 1700s and just haven't gotten over that little episode where no military could cover our butt.
We are sorry for feeding 100 million outside of the US. We are sorry for growing way too much corn, wheat and soy beans. We are sorry for using all that fuel to grow all those crops. We are sorry for producing way too much cattle that end up on tables in Europe, Japan and Asia. We are sorry for having the transportation sector that can move a massive amount of cargo each week.
We are sorry for alot of things. We are a pitiful lot.
We have no Roman culture, no French works of art, no real German gourmet cooks, no fancy British castles, and no great Shakespeare-like writers. We don't have Irish pubs where everyone sits around and talks constantly day in and day out of their sad woes and sorrows. In fact....we don't even have folks sitting around thinking of what terrible folks Americans are.
We'd like to have a society like that in America...that could daily think and dream of various ways to talk down America....but we're a bit busy, and we really don't have time to squander. We'll put your criticism on our list of things to fix...but its likely to be around the second five hundred things we gotta fix.
So here is the final note....as you've tossed all this choice criticism onto us. We are probably the only country around where folks would invite you back to our front porch....after you cut loose on your criticism. We are a bit foolish and naive. We probably aren't as charming or witty as you. Maybe you'd eventually come to ask why anyone would be nice to invite such criticism and keep allowing such friends and guests to continually come back.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Life on the Fast Lane
ADAC is the German automobile association that does a lot of research on cars, the autobahns, roads, safety, and anything automotive. They publish a monthly magazine where a hundred significant things are laid out in a usually interesting fashion. Well...this week, they came out with a report on toboggans....those fine and fast sleds that Germans are thrilled to operate. It's best to say that ADAC always comes down hard on safety. In this case.....they went out and found around two dozen toboggan runs. The majority had issues of safety. Barb wire was even written into the comments....as being fairly close the run.
As an American who grew up in the south....I never had the thrill of toboggans. Through my Germany years....I did it twice, on very short hillsides....which tend to be safe.
I would offer up this advice that if you've never done it and see an opportunity while in Bavaria or anywhere in Germany for that matter....it's best to pick a simple toboggan and a short hill to get some practice. Don't rush out to buy one....because the lack of control might eventually dawn on you while on your first run. It's not exactly something that you can stop easily with. So borrow or rent one....and grasp the fair amount of risk involved.
As for ADAC's comments? Well....if you read the magazine religiously....you probably would never use autobahn restrooms, eat at any restaurant on the autobahn, or ride any vehicle on a mountain pass. That might say something.
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