Thursday, September 17, 2015

Wellness This and Wellness That

German news media folks on Channel One (ARD) and Two (ZDF) are always fairly desperate to find a new topic to get people hyped and talking of a solution to a newly found problem.  Last night, I sat and watched a show which dedicated roughly fifteen minutes to the new phenomenon in Germany....wellness hotels.

For non-Germans, let me explain the concept of wellness hotels.  Germans are frustrated and stressed-out people.  They need something beyond just a regular old hotel, 3-star dining, and sights to see.  They need wellness.  This usually means a sauna, a work-out room, a fancy dining experience with a gourmet cook in charge, fine wine, a massage table, some fancy pool, and Budda-like statues in the background.  This all adds up to an enhanced (well, they believe it) wellness experience, where you get rid of hostility and annoyances.

As the news folks discovered....anyone can advertise themselves as a wellness hotel....put up some pictures and just say they have a fine wellness hotel.  There's no inspections.....no audit agency....and no standards.

To prove the point, they set up some guy's house (a family relative of the reporter is my estimation) who had a nice house with a sauna in the basement......as a wellness hotel.  To be honest....it was noted as a one-room hotel.  Pictures made it look absolutely fantastic, but it was just a regular house in the end, with some Budda-like statues for wellness looks.

What they wanted to suggest to the public....is that the German government or the commercial side of hotels.....need to set up an audit agency and protect the image of wellness hotels.  I sat there in a daze.....thinking we really need more of an audit agency which audits Channel One and Channel Two.....to lessen their workload a bit by letting some reporters go.....and lessen the TV tax a bit.  This would help slacken my stress level and make me feel better.

The truth is....out of a hundred Germans over the age of thirty.....less than five actively look for hotels with the wellness statement.  Most don't care.....they just want a decent price for whats offered and free-parking for the car (something that is rare these days).

Somewhere out there is some idiot political figure who watched the news piece and is all fired up to create some national task-force to attack the fake or fraud in wellness hotels.  Sadly, the same news folks will get hyped up over his campaign and give him time to talk about his enthusiasm for such a change in German life.  Yeah, we really need wellness laws.....to fix this and that.  Yeah.

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