Germans, Beverages, and Advice

I generally write this series of essays for non-Germans, and the possibility that they might arrive in Germany one day, and be faced with some situation that requires a moment of thinking.

So the topic for today is what to drink when going out to a restaurant or pub in Germany.  Most Americans, if you grew up in the south or midwest....are used to a glass of water being brought out at the beginning of the dinner.  Well....you won't get that sort of treatment in Germany.

The waitress will come out with a menu, and if you page to the end....there'll likely be three pages of offerings, and a fair amount of shock.  Most will offer up a dozen varieties of beer, and at least that many options for wine.  If you live in Hessen, at least three or four applewines will be offered up.  For sodas, Fanta and Coke will usually be listed.  Then you come to the various waters, and coffees....which will consume at least one single page by themselves.  So my advice:

1.  On the subject of water....if you just wanted plain old tap water....you would say 'Leitungwasser'.  But they would look at you because there might only be one person per year that comes in and requests plain tap water.

Most folks want Mineralwasser (water with bubbles or minerals to it) and stilles wasser (glacier water or spring water). The issue with these two is that it will cost you a buck or two for a bottle. If you are thirsty, then ask for the bigger bottles, but expect to pay four Euro roughly. If you haven't had water with bubbles before....then I'd strongly advise you to take stilles wasser instead. How many Germans will order a bottle of water on an evening meal? Maybe one out of fifty.

Does the stilles wasser taste different from variety to variety?  Yes, and that's a challenge for some folks.

2.  Wine. Every menu has several options: red wine (rotwein), white wine (weisswein), Italian wine, French wine, German wine, etc.

There's also the size business....where you order just one glass, or get a wine container with enough for two glasses (typically for a couple or just a guy who likes two glasses of wine per evening). The one key thing you can count on.....most everything they serve will be dry wine. So if you dislike dry wine....gaze over the menu carefully....to pick something else.

Typically, you can't get drunk off one glass of wine. If you sit there for three hours, consume a meal, and drink four glasses of wine....you probably shouldn't be driving. So walk back to the hotel, or stop the wine at two glasses.

3.  Applewine.  If you live in Hessen, this is a major deal and locals are proud of their applewine.  There will be two sizes....normal and large.  My general advice is that you stick with the normal glass, and order a plain bottle of water to accompany it.  If this is a long sitting spell, with a lot of chatter....then order the large size. 

Getting drunk on applewine?  Well.....yeah, this is a possibility and in the summer period (with heat), you might be stupid enough to sip off three or four of the large size glasses, so you need to be careful.

4.  Beer. Well...there's lots of options here.

Bock beer is rich black beer and fairly strong (stout), with Doppelbock being twice as strong and stout. (note: a Doppelbock can have up to sixteen percent alcohol in it, and you ought to limit yourself to strictly one beer). Neither ought to be consumed by a person who rarely drinks beer.

Then you have ein helles beer, which is a light beer. Then there's Weizenbeer, which is a wheaty-tasting beer. A Pilsener beer is generally a good choice to pick from.....neutral in all categories, and generally around 4.5 percent alcohol. An "export" beer is also generally a good pick in all categories. An Altbeer is generally a dark beer which is brewed to English expectations, and it's fairly bitter in taste. Finally, there's Hefewizen beer, which is very wheat-tasting in nature.

Size matters.  You can order the smaller glass....the medium stein.....or the bulky 1-liter (most pubs won't sell in that size). 

5.  Coffee and tea. What you should expect is a strong brew of coffee, perhaps a step above what you get at Starbucks. Germans like strong coffee.  On the menu....you will find a minimum of six to eight coffee types and you might want to experiment a bit.  Tea is generally served hot, and rarely if ever drunk in the summer period.  Ice tea, you will find, is almost non-existent. 

6.  Liquors.  Generally, Germans like to have a shot of liquor at the end of dinner.  In a group of twenty Germans, you can figure that half will go for a shot of something at the end.  Choices?  Barenfang is popular....it's a honey-vodka liquor.  Echte Kroatzbeere is popular....it's a blackberry liquor. Jagermeister is popular (I tend to suggest against it because it's fairly strong).  Most restaurants will offer up a minimum of twenty varieties. If you've consumed three beers at this point, I'd strongly recommend against driving.

7. Summer versus winter season.  My general advice is to consume plenty of water during the summer months....maybe order yourself a small bottle of glacier water, and have a beer after that. You need to stay hydrated during the hot summers. For the fall and winter, you might want to have two beers with your meal, and finish up at the end with a cup of coffee. If you really aren't sure about what to drink....just order up a bottle of water, and maybe one small glass of wine to go with the meal. You can't go wrong with that.

8.  Finally, there's this issue with buying beer in a one-liter stein. Frankly, if you go and do this.....it's a good bit of beer....way more than most Americans are used to consuming. Sadly, you might get stupid with the stein of beer....drink most of it before the meal arrives, and then ask for a second one-liter stein. That....is way more than you should consume. And you will be drunk by the end of the second stein, if you don't spread this out over three hours.