Monday, December 24, 2018

'Arranged' Marriages TV Show

Last night on commercial German TV....wrapped up a seven episode series entitled "Hochzeit Auf Den Ersten Blick", which basically translates to 'Marriage With the First View'.  SAT1 produced the piece and it centered on this one formula....you would go and open up a database of people willing to marry without knowing or seeing their future partner....ever. 

This was built on a database where they came to six likely guys and six likely women who seemed to fit the characteristics required.  Then some PhD-type folks would go and mingle....ask questions, and get a 'good' feel for a match.  Then they'd announce that you 'won' (kind of a shock for some folks).  So then the video team went through the announcement of each....the tux or wedding dress episode....prep for the marriage, the party, and the honeymoon (all paid for by SAT1). 

The first time that anyone met the other?  Well....at the chapel, when they marched through the door.  Once I figured the formula.....I just shook my head.  It's pretty risky business.  The key part of this formula that the experts tied into this?  All of these people were mid-20's to late-40s, never-married, and all admitting that they were having problems in finding an adequate person (most didn't say it direct but you could sense that).

So last night was the last episode, and the chief rule was part into effect.  The German system has a 'get-out' card so if things went sour, you could opt easily out of the marriage within x-number of days.  So this was the assessment episode on the six couples.  It didn't go very well.

Couple 1 and 2.  They were mid-20s to early 30s.  I would say from the four....they were uncomplicated and fairly easy-going.  Both couples had decided to stay married, and the PhD system worked well.

Then you come to couple number 3.  On this episode, you could sense the gal (early 40s) had a number of issues that the PhD guy had not stumbled upon.  As she walked through the door of the chapel meeting her guy (a mid-40s muscular guy who lifted weights a lot) her facial expression dissolved.  About five minutes after the event ended, they went to a private room to chat, and she just laid it out.....NO, she couldn't handle this.  It didn't work for her. 

For this guy, you could see a spiral downward....he was unprepared for this type of situation.  Was it the muscles or physical appearance of the guy?  Unknown.  The PhD folks stepped in and tried to chat with her, but this deal was dissolved in her mind.  Nothing happened after that moment.  They were finished in five minutes flat.

Couple 4?  A late 20's guy with a mid-20's gal.  He was a gamer, and I figured that this would revolve around continual chaos.  There were little run-in's between them....always minor in detail.  The honeymoon didn't go to a fantastic conclusion.  At the assessment moment last night....he made it clear, this arrangement just wouldn't work.  She was willing to continue and try to make it work.  But the rules were simple....if one partner wanted to opt out.....then it was finished.

Couple 5?  An older guy (late 40s) and a early 40's gal.  He was a go-getter....determined....obsessed with taking photos of every event.  She wanted a guy who was laidback and with less obsessions.  They both opted out with absolute determination.

Couple 6? A mid 20's gal with a late 20's guy.  She was the organizational type.....things needed to be arranged and done in a certain way.  He was the exact opposite.  On the day they arrived at the honeymoon hotel....you could tell they wouldn't last.  At the assessment point, he wrote a '?' for continuing this....suggesting communication would be necessary.  She said no.....she was finished.

Here's the three obvious things I took out of this:

1.  For entertainment (Sundays, a 2-hour show, for seven weeks), I would question how anyone could determine this was decent entertainment.  I actually got to a point where I felt awful sorry for two of the guys....they'd really signed up for something of a modern 'torture'. 

2.  For statistical purposes.....only two of the six arranged marriages worked.  It was lousy numbers for the business-like folks.  In one case, it didn't last more than five minutes. 

3.  Oddly, when you look at the two couples that survived and flourished on this arranged situation....their key features (for all four).....easy-going and non-confrontational.  You could note that the two couples will likely still be married in twenty years.  You could look at the folks over the age of forty, and say that they all had personalities assembled and stumbling blocks built for any future marriage to work. The OCD personality trait?  I just don't think the PhD folks took that into consideration.  But would two absolutely compulsive OCD individuals be able to survive in an arranged marriage? 

So for the four women and four men who got the dissolved marriage?  I personally don't think that any of them will ever marry 'again'.  This was such a negative experience that each likely will be determined to stay single and uncomplicated. 

Will the network run the show again next year?  I have my doubts.  I do think lots of folks tuned in (it came on at 5 PM, so that was a less competitive period for viewers.  But will any idiot go and volunteer for the same situation....to put themselves into a haphazard marriage with a problem-spouse?  I question that. 

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