The Cave of Zeus Story

This a story that I originally told about five years ago, and I kinda reviewed it a bit, and rewrote it to a degree. 

Greece is one of those countries that I've been to on three occasions, and I'm fairly fascinated by the culture, the landscape, and the legends.  I might occasionally utter the phrase of 'Cave of Zeus' when I chat on Greece.  And yes, I'm being cynical when I utter it.

Virtually every isle in Greece has some type of tourist gimmick where they claim they are the birthplace or hiding place of Zeus of Greece. There's a tour....usually from an ice cream shop or gift shop.....that cost a couple of Euro. If you add on a burro-ride, it's another five to ten Euro.

What the guy does is lead you on a twenty-minute walk usually....over a hill....down a valley....to some decent cave entrance where he claims this is where Zeus hid out or was born.

So, the story to this is simple. Legend has it....as told.....that the real cave of Zeus is on Crete (the bigger of the isles)....near Mount Ida. In the old days.....it was a place where Greeks would make a walk to the entrance and go through a period of worship.

Rhea.....a titan God.....hid the kid Zeus there to protect him from his dad Cronus. 

A good bit of the legend suggests other caves were part of the hiding scheme.....which is why you might see the Cave of Zeus in multiple locations. The gimmick works well because tourists want to identify and see such a cave.

If you asked any Brit, French guy, or German gal.....they'd let you know that their vast knowledge of Zeus can fit onto a 3 x 5 inch card. So, this is mostly for them to say.....they've been there. 

Should you pay for such a walk and the claim? Well.....a guy only gets a dozen odd things that he can claim with strong feeling as he makes his way through life. Maybe notching off the 'Cave of Zeus' might fit well on this list.

As you wrap up the walk.....you'd likely have a sweat and stop at the ice cream shop near the tour bus. You'd sip through some water, eat an ice cream, and probably buy a 16-Euro t-shirt with some cartoon-thug-like Zeus on it.

Some folks might wander over near a sign with the Zeus figured painted up and have their picture taken....so they can show the ladies back at the office of their extensive travels. Then you get on the bus and leave. Me?

Well....I must admit.....I just didn't buy off on this whole story when I was there in 1996. I am from Alabama, and this legend stuff doesn't sell that well to me.  The kid and I sat at the ice cream shop for an hour while the wife did the forty-odd minute burro walk to and from the cave and she got the ten-minute lecture of the legend of Zeus.

To be honest, the wife rarely brings up the burro walk, the legend of Zeus speech, or the Cave of Zeus. On her list of a hundred things she's accomplished in her life.....I imagine she's ranked this near 1,488 on the list.....which says a lot about the whole legend thing.

My general advice....if you go off to Kos, or Crete, or Korfu, and you find some deal for a local Cave of Zeus walk.....pay the five-Euro for the walk (or the 12-Euro for the burrro ride).....and buy a t-shirt (16-Euro). You are buying all of this.....NOT so much for the Zeus thing or highlights of your life.....but instead to help balance the Greek economy. You see.....Greeks need your cash contribution, and this whole Cave of Zeus thing....while bogus.....is a nifty and cheap gimmick for them to arrange.

You help them out.....you help sponsor some Chinese kid who makes cheap t-shirts that get shipped by the pallet to Greece.....and you help the meager Greek ice cream empire survive.

Please note....if the topic ever comes up with my wife, and you ask her humble opinion....she will bring up that this was the two-week vacation that I forgot to bring any underwear in the suitcase. This might be a bigger story, at least by her humble opinion.